A Confident Lady

I've heard said that confidence becomes a young lady, that is desirable and often very beneficial in a relationship, in any sort of relationship. Confidence is also a sign of character and quality of life.

Needless to say, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, which has given a serious beating to my ego, in good and bad ways. Confidence hasn't always been on my top list of priorities insofar as I cared to show the rest of the world. But recently, I have rediscovered a piece of my dignity, and self respect, which has been key to surviving the reintegration into the Honor Academy.

Judgment seems to somehow be born of religion, both judicially and personally. Without moral laws, there can be no judgments, and yet somehow I'm not sure it's a good thing when no one teaches people the difference between the two types of  judging. Here at school, I can't help but notice that lack of wisdom as I feel the stares and hear the whispers as I move around campus. I've been judged, and found wanting to many.

But walking across the grassy knoll today on my way to work, I realized something. Despite what the others may think, despite what the others may say or do, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Confidence is not only an outflow of character, I believe it's also an intake of strength. I choose to ignore the judgments and the ridicule, and thus their power is lost to me. I choose instead to find joy in the day, in the now falling beautiful snow. Therein lies my confidence, and thus, healing. If I keep stepping out in that, then there's going to come a day when that intake dwindles as the outflow grows, because I'll have found a source in myself (rooted in God) to support the flow independently, if that makes sense.

Haha, so today, I say this in all confidence, I like myself. ALOT. So... go check out my other blog. Which isn't so much a day to day blog as it is a map to the intricacies of my brain, an adventure that delves into the mind of an ever growing young lady discovering who she was, who she is, and who she's destined to be.

~Char
http://foreverchar.blogspot.com