Dharna

dharna \DAHR-nuh\, noun:

In India, the practice of exacting justice or compliance with a just demand by sitting and fasting at the doorstep of an offender until death or until the demand is granted.

That seems pretty hardcore, considering they will wait until they die or get justice. About as hardcore as kamikazes pretty much. There's a website for a Law group who defends those who do dharna, and there's actually a dharna being held right now in India over the railroad. 

A people who hold to traditions like that have a strong spirit, and I admire them for it. To be willing to risk even death to get justice is courageous, though I have to wonder if they have a policy for mercy? I'm gonna have to do a little more research into this...

Romans 1&2

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”


The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.  For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. (I think that's pretty self explanatory. I like how the Bible leaves no room for excuses. In the psalms, it says the Heavens declare the glory of God, and Romans affirms that truth.)


Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;  they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.  Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (Do I do any of these? I want fidelity. I want to show love, and mercy. I want to have the understanding and knowledge of God. And I want to be a godly example of this chapter. Am I?)


You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?  Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? (pray for those who judge you for your own failings and sins, for they are standing under a bucket of poo waiting to drop...)


But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. ⁸ But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile (Does he do everything in that order? It sounds like the Jews are being held to some standard above the "ignorant" gentiles, or am I wrong in that? Seems strange that he keeps saying that. Repeated phrases are usually important.); but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. (I like knowing God doesn't play favorites. For all the crap I've done in my life, for ever debt I owe in eternity, it doesn't mean anything insofar as status goes. No one is greater than me, or less than me, in God's eyes. And I shall recieve as much favor from him as even the pope, if he indeed is saved.)



All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. (Is that talking about those who never heard it? The 10 commandments or Jesus?) For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares. (Wow... that paragraph is hardcore....the Gentiles, or other people, can obey God, and not even realize they're doing it, and it's like a slap in the face for those who have heard and KNOW the law, and still do wrong. Ouch...)


Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and boast in God; if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of little children, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Again, ouch... Taking another stab at the Jews for their infidelity to the law and God. It makes sense tho. If you're going to claim to be a leader like that, then lead by action. "Do as I say, not as I do" obviously doesn't work with God. Time to step it up and live the way we say we do.)



Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised. So then, if those who are not circumcised keep the law’s requirements, will they not be regarded as though they were circumcised? The one who is not circumcised physically and yet obeys the law will condemn you who, even though you have the written code and circumcision, are a lawbreaker.

 A person is not a Jew who is one only outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a person’s praise is not from other people, but from God. (I bet this gave a lot of new Christian Gentiles hope, hope that the inheritance of the Jews could be theirs as well with true faith and obedience. I suppose today, the Jews could be used as a reference for those who have grown up in the church, and the Gentiles those who have not, and have come into the faith recently. We're as condemned as the Jews, those of us who have gone to Sunday school and heard the Word all our lives. We have a responsibility to step up and lead, and live that way, and share that with others who have not heard all their life. It's like parents. When they reach the throne of judgment, they'll be held accountable for what they did as parents, for their children. Their children too will be held accountable for their own actions, but the parents will be the ones who lead them in a certain way, ad will be held in even higher responsibility and thus possible condemnation for how their kids turned out. The leaders of our country will be judged that way as well, and I think that includes those of us who were blessed and priveleged to be among other believers our whole lives. We must live and share the Gospel with those who are newborns to the faith.)

It's been a day...

I'm going to bed. I don't think I can handle too much more of today. Just one of those days... between the guys, the weariness, the go-go-go-ness of it all.... I need to sleep. Someone make me a "Do not disturb" sign for my heart, my eyes, and my bed........

Non existant...

The only thing worse than feeling like you don't belong somewhere is finding out that you don't....

Lunch is a wonderful time of day. It's a relief after the long morning, a chance for a break with nourishing (albeit disgusting) food, catch-up time with friends from other departments, and for a lucky few, a surprise package awaits them in the mail room. For myself, it meant a nice long walk across the main lawn on a beautiful, sunny winter day, across the campus I had so eagerly come back to. Down the long stairs into the main floor of the caf, joining the dozens of other interns as we awaited our turn to feast upon the food producing the delicious aromas that greeted us as we walked through the door. I grabbed a tray and eyed those ahead of me in line, amicably chatting with a friend I had met on the way in, when to my horrified surprise I heard, "I need to see your card, miss."

Unbeknownst to me, meal cards had been issued during my absence, to keep non-interns from sneaking in and taking advantage of anonymity in the caf. So I was left standing there holding an empty tray, slack jawed and wondering what had happened. Apparently, even given the 3 weeks heads up, administration had failed to register me in the system, which meant I was a nonperson. I didn't exist to them, not in this bubble of a world.

So a quick trip to my local friendly neighborhood campus store saved me from possible starvation, but my pride was burned, and I am still awaiting recognition as part of the Honor Academy community. We shall see how this turns out, but as of now... I.... am invisible.

~Char
the invisible girl

Update: (as of 2:26 pm) I am no longer invisible.... :)

Red Roses for Corpus

Assignment for the day: PA for a re-reshoot (lol) and research for lakes near Corpus Christi. Interesting fact: Saxet Lakes is the most popular lake in Texas for dropping off bodies...

It's very strange being back, seeing everyone I knew, and reconnecting. But at the same time, most of them have moved on with life, and I don't fit very well there right now. Linda and Travis were quick to pick me up again as a friend, but I guess everyone is really busy at CCM, so it's a little harder. Idk. No pity parties, only hard work and affection for everyone :)

I've hijacked Diamond's desk, as she is ill this day, and have lightly decorated it with a red rose in a long slender red vase. With the lanterns, the effect is quite exquisite. I'm very ready for my own desk again, so I can cease this transient phase I'm in currently. It doesn't help the feeling of not quite belonging...

Perhaps I should stay out of it, but there seems to be a lot of strife going on in the subhouse. Basically, the clash of the Titans, Staff Associates vs. CCMers. It's technically CCM housing, but the Staff Associates have taken over and have been creating rules that seem mostly focused on the CCM ladies living there, like no ppl over without 24 hour notice, and they have to clean the kitchen, etc. It's frustrating to me because most of the SAs were with me for my undergrad years, and then I am a CCMer myself, those are my girls, so I'm rather caught in the middle, even though I don't even live there. *sigh* such is life I suppose...

So this is this morning's blog. I'll probably blog again later, when I'm finished with the shoot. So far, I have a lot of free time while having none, and it's kind of fun.

Ta-ta for now :)

~Char

In the Beginning....The Rewrite!

So it's the end of the second day back, my third time back mind you. So far it's been pleasant. Got unpacked, settled into my room, met all my roomies and such. Sitting here watching everyone rifle through all the posters I brought back from work.

This is the end of it all, the last year, and I mean that. Really. I mean, honestly, how many times can a person mess up before they get it right? This time, it's all or nothing, no compromise!

So... I guess this is a new year resolution, of a...different sort. Blog every day possible, share my experiences, and let the world watch me as I DON'T fail. Hear that world??? I WILL FINISH THIS!!!

So end of blog 1. Not that anyone is probably even reading this, but hey, it's out there. Peace out, and good night from Texas.

~Char