Sitting here, listening to the other interns, I'm realizing just how badly people look down on dismissal for romantic relationships. I don't even know if they realize I'm here, but one actually went so far as to make the comment that that's the WORST thing you can do to get dismissed. I mean, honestly? They don't get it...
I feel for the others like me who have been dismissed for this particular reason. People may see it as purposeful rebellion, but a lot of times, it starts out small, as a friendship, that grows, which means it could happen to any of them really. I find it interesting that they think they're immune to stupid decisions in the face of raw emotions.
Of all the things you could get dismissed for, I'm thinking this is the LEAST worse of them all. You can get dismissed for substance abuse, for a bad attitude, for stealing. Almost all the other ways to get dismissed involve mal-intent towards another human being, or towards yourself. Not so with romantic relationships, though I will be the first to admit that just because it lacks malicious intent doesn't make it right. Not at all.
I'd rather be in trouble for loving and being an idiot, then for being an idiot by hurting someone else. That's just psychotic...
Monday, January 31, 2011
A Day In The Life: Desk Edition
Every living entity -biological, institutional, or conspiratorial- has a brain, an organ or hub of thought and planning. For the Center For Creative Media (CCM), that brain is known simply as The Desk.
Comprised of staff and interns alike, the function of the Desk is to coordinate and supervise everything that goes on within and without CCM. This includes inside coordination of daily tasks, shoots, transportation, inventory, and anything to do with credits for schooling. They also serve as an inbetween for outside requests made to our Library for different projects and linecuts on DVD or other media forms (ie, Beta 30, miniDVs, CDs, etc).
Now, though they be all powerful and all knowing (at least in CCM's world), the Desk is not all that well liked. Orders are sent out, and grumblings are heard, as each order is mandatory. "Transcribing" is equivalent to a swear word, and the daily assignment email is loathe to any and all who receive it, in part due to the afore mentioned dirty word.
And this private little clique was where I found myself today. A symposium on Islam was being held this weekend, and having attended it before, I became one of the few graduate interns not attending. I thought it was my lucky day, but I suppose the Cherokee in me won out over the Irish, for I found myself delivering linecuts up the Hill and doling out orders to the poor interns unlucky enough to be within 100 yards of the Desk. Needless to say, I'm not very good with giving orders or confronting people. I'm a people person.
Oh, and for those of you who don't know half of what I'm saying... linecuts are the final unedited copies of any given event that we put on. This week's was the Richmond event's linecuts.
I eagerly await what this afternoon holds for me, though with much trepidation. Wish me luck, for I wish not to entangle myself in the web of woeful tidings that inevitably ensue from....
THE DESK.
~Char
PS. I love the people on the desk, just not their job...
Comprised of staff and interns alike, the function of the Desk is to coordinate and supervise everything that goes on within and without CCM. This includes inside coordination of daily tasks, shoots, transportation, inventory, and anything to do with credits for schooling. They also serve as an inbetween for outside requests made to our Library for different projects and linecuts on DVD or other media forms (ie, Beta 30, miniDVs, CDs, etc).
Now, though they be all powerful and all knowing (at least in CCM's world), the Desk is not all that well liked. Orders are sent out, and grumblings are heard, as each order is mandatory. "Transcribing" is equivalent to a swear word, and the daily assignment email is loathe to any and all who receive it, in part due to the afore mentioned dirty word.
And this private little clique was where I found myself today. A symposium on Islam was being held this weekend, and having attended it before, I became one of the few graduate interns not attending. I thought it was my lucky day, but I suppose the Cherokee in me won out over the Irish, for I found myself delivering linecuts up the Hill and doling out orders to the poor interns unlucky enough to be within 100 yards of the Desk. Needless to say, I'm not very good with giving orders or confronting people. I'm a people person.
Oh, and for those of you who don't know half of what I'm saying... linecuts are the final unedited copies of any given event that we put on. This week's was the Richmond event's linecuts.
I eagerly await what this afternoon holds for me, though with much trepidation. Wish me luck, for I wish not to entangle myself in the web of woeful tidings that inevitably ensue from....
THE DESK.
~Char
PS. I love the people on the desk, just not their job...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Everyone's Favs: Vampire Bride
Photos by: Charlie Kemp, Williwaw Photography
Makeup: Charlie Kemp & Ashton Davis
Talent: Sarah Richey
Friday, January 28, 2011
A Very Happy Birthday Indeed!
Turning 22 is rather odd. It's not a milestone age (I don't think...), and it's not exactly a big number, or a low number or anything. But, man... I still feel OLD!!!
This day has been absolutely amazing!!! I'm serious! I woke up in a fantabulous mood (yes, that's a word), and the day just kept getting better and better. I DROVE to work, which I have decided is my new favorite thing to do. Driving and singing to worship music at full volume... nothing better! So anyway, I get to work, and I've been begging to do personal development projects since my first day back, and guess what? I got approved! That made me very happy indeed :D
Ashton and Marissa had an acting project they were working on, and asked me to be the DP for their little performance, and of course I quite happily agreed. Things didn't go quite as planned however, and that all got rescheduled to Monday, but even that is a good thing, because it means I am already promised another day of PD. :D So I ordered a pizza for myself, and made some reese's brownies as a little birthday cake sort of thing. After my yummy meal, I was called in to be a test dummy with Ashton and Diamond, who were practicing makeup techniques.
Funny story, cuz they are both black, so the makeup they were putting on me and Erin, the other test dummy, was coloring made for dark skinned people. Erin is hispanic, so she obviously fit the profile, but my translucent shade of skin didn't exactly go with their color pallette, so needless to say when they had "finished" with me, I got cleaned up and sat them down for a fun tutorial on "white chick makeup 101". We had a blast, because we got to use one of our guys, Elijah, as our third test dummy. His makeup turned out quite well, and amid much laughter, I was able to show them shading and specific techniques for applying makeup. It was awesome.
The makeup escapade kinda snowballed from there, as Sarah wanted to be done up a little more. So somehow or other we decided we'd make her a vampire, and that turned into some creature all it's own! Ashton and I dug around the attic for a dress and accessories, and dolled Sarah up with hair and everything, and then thought, well, let's do a shoot! We called some of the guys up to haul out the coffin (yes, CCM has a coffin in the attic) to the front drive, and grabbed a few antique candlesticks and roses, and headed out. Turned out pretty cool actually, if you don't mind the now stained red hands from the fake blood we used. Haha, Doug seemed to like it though, which was great!
I had just gotten in to dump the pics onto my laptop when Linda came running in and grabbed me by the arm, telling me I "had no choice" but to come with her. So I did. Brian and Travis were waiting in the car, and we took off for an "unknown location for Round 1", which turned out to be Posado's. Unfortunately, Posado's was really busy, as it was Friday night, so we puttered over to Chili's, which too was busy. That really only left us the chinese place by walmart, which, oddly enough, happens to be my favorite Texas restaraunt! If that's not God, idk what is!
We had an awesome meal, and got a chance to catch up pretty well. All 3 of them are on the ministry team, so they've been uber busy, and I obviously had been gone for the last 4 months. It was so wonderful reminiscing and reconnecting again. I missed them so much... Anyway, after that we were kinda lost for what to do, but Linda had another "surprise" up her sleeve, and made Travis pull in near DQ. We munched on some star shaped popsicles on the long drive into Tyler, where we grabbed some starbucks for Travis. Little known fact among us: none of us like coffee!!! lol
We decided a movie was in order after that, and of all the movies there, the Green Hornet looked to be the funniest, but lemme say this: LAME!!! lol it was soooo dumb. Not worth the money to be sure, but it WAS pretty awesome watching it with those 3, because of all the funny comments. Hehehe, I will never look at a super hero movie the same way again....
The night ended on a lovely note, with us counting down to midnight, the end of the first day of my 22nd year of life. And now I sit here, writing this all out, and smiling, because this truly has been the best day of my life. I will never forget it, and I hope that there are many more days like this to come. It wasn't about the big things, really, it was the fullness and joy of it all, of not only feeling happy and loved, but accomplished and capable. I found a new piece of me today, and a little bit more of my dignity, and honestly, I think THAT has to be the greatest present of all. Haha, with a close second by the monkey from Linda (Thank you Linda!)
Love always, and now 22,
~Char
This day has been absolutely amazing!!! I'm serious! I woke up in a fantabulous mood (yes, that's a word), and the day just kept getting better and better. I DROVE to work, which I have decided is my new favorite thing to do. Driving and singing to worship music at full volume... nothing better! So anyway, I get to work, and I've been begging to do personal development projects since my first day back, and guess what? I got approved! That made me very happy indeed :D
Ashton and Marissa had an acting project they were working on, and asked me to be the DP for their little performance, and of course I quite happily agreed. Things didn't go quite as planned however, and that all got rescheduled to Monday, but even that is a good thing, because it means I am already promised another day of PD. :D So I ordered a pizza for myself, and made some reese's brownies as a little birthday cake sort of thing. After my yummy meal, I was called in to be a test dummy with Ashton and Diamond, who were practicing makeup techniques.
Funny story, cuz they are both black, so the makeup they were putting on me and Erin, the other test dummy, was coloring made for dark skinned people. Erin is hispanic, so she obviously fit the profile, but my translucent shade of skin didn't exactly go with their color pallette, so needless to say when they had "finished" with me, I got cleaned up and sat them down for a fun tutorial on "white chick makeup 101". We had a blast, because we got to use one of our guys, Elijah, as our third test dummy. His makeup turned out quite well, and amid much laughter, I was able to show them shading and specific techniques for applying makeup. It was awesome.
The makeup escapade kinda snowballed from there, as Sarah wanted to be done up a little more. So somehow or other we decided we'd make her a vampire, and that turned into some creature all it's own! Ashton and I dug around the attic for a dress and accessories, and dolled Sarah up with hair and everything, and then thought, well, let's do a shoot! We called some of the guys up to haul out the coffin (yes, CCM has a coffin in the attic) to the front drive, and grabbed a few antique candlesticks and roses, and headed out. Turned out pretty cool actually, if you don't mind the now stained red hands from the fake blood we used. Haha, Doug seemed to like it though, which was great!
I had just gotten in to dump the pics onto my laptop when Linda came running in and grabbed me by the arm, telling me I "had no choice" but to come with her. So I did. Brian and Travis were waiting in the car, and we took off for an "unknown location for Round 1", which turned out to be Posado's. Unfortunately, Posado's was really busy, as it was Friday night, so we puttered over to Chili's, which too was busy. That really only left us the chinese place by walmart, which, oddly enough, happens to be my favorite Texas restaraunt! If that's not God, idk what is!
We had an awesome meal, and got a chance to catch up pretty well. All 3 of them are on the ministry team, so they've been uber busy, and I obviously had been gone for the last 4 months. It was so wonderful reminiscing and reconnecting again. I missed them so much... Anyway, after that we were kinda lost for what to do, but Linda had another "surprise" up her sleeve, and made Travis pull in near DQ. We munched on some star shaped popsicles on the long drive into Tyler, where we grabbed some starbucks for Travis. Little known fact among us: none of us like coffee!!! lol
We decided a movie was in order after that, and of all the movies there, the Green Hornet looked to be the funniest, but lemme say this: LAME!!! lol it was soooo dumb. Not worth the money to be sure, but it WAS pretty awesome watching it with those 3, because of all the funny comments. Hehehe, I will never look at a super hero movie the same way again....
The night ended on a lovely note, with us counting down to midnight, the end of the first day of my 22nd year of life. And now I sit here, writing this all out, and smiling, because this truly has been the best day of my life. I will never forget it, and I hope that there are many more days like this to come. It wasn't about the big things, really, it was the fullness and joy of it all, of not only feeling happy and loved, but accomplished and capable. I found a new piece of me today, and a little bit more of my dignity, and honestly, I think THAT has to be the greatest present of all. Haha, with a close second by the monkey from Linda (Thank you Linda!)
Love always, and now 22,
~Char
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
GOAL!!!!
Looking over last year, and seeing how much of a FAIL that was, I think it would be a smart move to set some goals for myself, for my time here, so I'm not wasting any more time.
On that note, I should probably categorize some of them, seeing as how I want goals for all aspects of my life here, like physical health, work, spiritual growth, etc.
Ok, in the area of physical health, I'm not doing so well. I give myself a D- for this... I'm lazy, out of shape, and not too healthy. So goals for this year? Training, running, eating right, and getting better sleep habits. Also, if the body is a reflection of the mind, then I'd like to make more of an effort to make them match. I have a sharp mind, and not so much a sharp image at this point. I think I'll take some time to learn how to do my hair in different ways, and try some new makeup techniques as well. Grow my nails out while I'm at it. Hm, and maybe some sort of treatment for my skin.
Work. Whew boy... I'll save that for last.....I give myself an F for last year......
Spiritual growth has kind of gone south in recent months... I need to get into the habit of having a quiet time every day, and really digging into the Word. I was reading Romans today, and was inspired by it, but I haven't read it in soooooo long, and there's something wrong with that. I also want to memorize some stuff, like James 1 again, and Romans, and someone last night mentioned 1 Corinthians 7? Let's see how much I can get in my brain before it fries.
Ok, work. :/ this one may be a tad more difficult, because I don't have full control over it, but I have to at least try. I'd like to get more camera jobs, and I'm already guaranteed at least 3, but those are ENG for events, and I want something I can take into a studio, not just man-on-the-street stuff. I want to work on lighting techniques and such at LEAST once a week, if not more. I also want to try to aim for about 5 hours of footage every week, of my own or for projects. I'd like to learn a little bit more about editing, and a little more in the way of gfx, as well as makeup.
Oh, there's also my girls. I want/need to get to know them better and get close to some of them. SO far me and Naeema and Ashton have hit it off, and Stewart and Marissa, and a couple of the other girls, but I want to get to know them all. Maybe I should set up meetings with them? Or spontaneity? Hm.. I'll figure out the best approach, but I should probably jump on that band wagon sooner rather than later.
Recap: Goals in the areas of spiritual growth, work, relationships, and physical health.
Spiritual Growth:
Daily quiet time
Memorize a chapter of the Bible
Maybe learn how to play a worship song?
Work:
5 hrs /week of footage
at least one day in the studio (lighting/camera)
practice makeup techniques/explore
spend 4 hrs/week on gfx
spend 2 hrs/week on editing
explore the life of a professional each week (director, producer, DP, etc)
VOLUNTEER
Collect personal footage at each event and PE
Relationships:
Proactively seek out the girls
Avoid the guys
Meetings?
Encouragement
Physical health:
Weights and ball every day
Running (sprints) every other day
Jogging (long distance) every other day
Eat at least one fruit or vegetable daily
EAT BREAKFAST
Go to bed by 10 if possible
Try a new hair look each week
try a new makeup look every other day?
Accessorize
On that note, I should probably categorize some of them, seeing as how I want goals for all aspects of my life here, like physical health, work, spiritual growth, etc.
Ok, in the area of physical health, I'm not doing so well. I give myself a D- for this... I'm lazy, out of shape, and not too healthy. So goals for this year? Training, running, eating right, and getting better sleep habits. Also, if the body is a reflection of the mind, then I'd like to make more of an effort to make them match. I have a sharp mind, and not so much a sharp image at this point. I think I'll take some time to learn how to do my hair in different ways, and try some new makeup techniques as well. Grow my nails out while I'm at it. Hm, and maybe some sort of treatment for my skin.
Work. Whew boy... I'll save that for last.....I give myself an F for last year......
Spiritual growth has kind of gone south in recent months... I need to get into the habit of having a quiet time every day, and really digging into the Word. I was reading Romans today, and was inspired by it, but I haven't read it in soooooo long, and there's something wrong with that. I also want to memorize some stuff, like James 1 again, and Romans, and someone last night mentioned 1 Corinthians 7? Let's see how much I can get in my brain before it fries.
Ok, work. :/ this one may be a tad more difficult, because I don't have full control over it, but I have to at least try. I'd like to get more camera jobs, and I'm already guaranteed at least 3, but those are ENG for events, and I want something I can take into a studio, not just man-on-the-street stuff. I want to work on lighting techniques and such at LEAST once a week, if not more. I also want to try to aim for about 5 hours of footage every week, of my own or for projects. I'd like to learn a little bit more about editing, and a little more in the way of gfx, as well as makeup.
Oh, there's also my girls. I want/need to get to know them better and get close to some of them. SO far me and Naeema and Ashton have hit it off, and Stewart and Marissa, and a couple of the other girls, but I want to get to know them all. Maybe I should set up meetings with them? Or spontaneity? Hm.. I'll figure out the best approach, but I should probably jump on that band wagon sooner rather than later.
Recap: Goals in the areas of spiritual growth, work, relationships, and physical health.
Spiritual Growth:
Daily quiet time
Memorize a chapter of the Bible
Maybe learn how to play a worship song?
Work:
5 hrs /week of footage
at least one day in the studio (lighting/camera)
practice makeup techniques/explore
spend 4 hrs/week on gfx
spend 2 hrs/week on editing
explore the life of a professional each week (director, producer, DP, etc)
VOLUNTEER
Collect personal footage at each event and PE
Relationships:
Proactively seek out the girls
Avoid the guys
Meetings?
Encouragement
Physical health:
Weights and ball every day
Running (sprints) every other day
Jogging (long distance) every other day
Eat at least one fruit or vegetable daily
EAT BREAKFAST
Go to bed by 10 if possible
Try a new hair look each week
try a new makeup look every other day?
Accessorize
Dharna
dharna \DAHR-nuh\, noun:
In India, the practice of exacting justice or compliance with a just demand by sitting and fasting at the doorstep of an offender until death or until the demand is granted.
That seems pretty hardcore, considering they will wait until they die or get justice. About as hardcore as kamikazes pretty much. There's a website for a Law group who defends those who do dharna, and there's actually a dharna being held right now in India over the railroad.
A people who hold to traditions like that have a strong spirit, and I admire them for it. To be willing to risk even death to get justice is courageous, though I have to wonder if they have a policy for mercy? I'm gonna have to do a little more research into this...
Romans 1&2
For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. (I think that's pretty self explanatory. I like how the Bible leaves no room for excuses. In the psalms, it says the Heavens declare the glory of God, and Romans affirms that truth.)
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (Do I do any of these? I want fidelity. I want to show love, and mercy. I want to have the understanding and knowledge of God. And I want to be a godly example of this chapter. Am I?)
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? (pray for those who judge you for your own failings and sins, for they are standing under a bucket of poo waiting to drop...)
But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8 But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile (Does he do everything in that order? It sounds like the Jews are being held to some standard above the "ignorant" gentiles, or am I wrong in that? Seems strange that he keeps saying that. Repeated phrases are usually important.); but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. (I like knowing God doesn't play favorites. For all the crap I've done in my life, for ever debt I owe in eternity, it doesn't mean anything insofar as status goes. No one is greater than me, or less than me, in God's eyes. And I shall recieve as much favor from him as even the pope, if he indeed is saved.)
All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. (Is that talking about those who never heard it? The 10 commandments or Jesus?) For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares. (Wow... that paragraph is hardcore....the Gentiles, or other people, can obey God, and not even realize they're doing it, and it's like a slap in the face for those who have heard and KNOW the law, and still do wrong. Ouch...)
Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and boast in God; if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of little children, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Again, ouch... Taking another stab at the Jews for their infidelity to the law and God. It makes sense tho. If you're going to claim to be a leader like that, then lead by action. "Do as I say, not as I do" obviously doesn't work with God. Time to step it up and live the way we say we do.)
Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised. So then, if those who are not circumcised keep the law’s requirements, will they not be regarded as though they were circumcised? The one who is not circumcised physically and yet obeys the law will condemn you who, even though you have the written code and circumcision, are a lawbreaker.
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. (I think that's pretty self explanatory. I like how the Bible leaves no room for excuses. In the psalms, it says the Heavens declare the glory of God, and Romans affirms that truth.)
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (Do I do any of these? I want fidelity. I want to show love, and mercy. I want to have the understanding and knowledge of God. And I want to be a godly example of this chapter. Am I?)
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? (pray for those who judge you for your own failings and sins, for they are standing under a bucket of poo waiting to drop...)
But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8 But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile (Does he do everything in that order? It sounds like the Jews are being held to some standard above the "ignorant" gentiles, or am I wrong in that? Seems strange that he keeps saying that. Repeated phrases are usually important.); but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. (I like knowing God doesn't play favorites. For all the crap I've done in my life, for ever debt I owe in eternity, it doesn't mean anything insofar as status goes. No one is greater than me, or less than me, in God's eyes. And I shall recieve as much favor from him as even the pope, if he indeed is saved.)
All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. (Is that talking about those who never heard it? The 10 commandments or Jesus?) For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares. (Wow... that paragraph is hardcore....the Gentiles, or other people, can obey God, and not even realize they're doing it, and it's like a slap in the face for those who have heard and KNOW the law, and still do wrong. Ouch...)
Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and boast in God; if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of little children, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Again, ouch... Taking another stab at the Jews for their infidelity to the law and God. It makes sense tho. If you're going to claim to be a leader like that, then lead by action. "Do as I say, not as I do" obviously doesn't work with God. Time to step it up and live the way we say we do.)
Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised. So then, if those who are not circumcised keep the law’s requirements, will they not be regarded as though they were circumcised? The one who is not circumcised physically and yet obeys the law will condemn you who, even though you have the written code and circumcision, are a lawbreaker.
A person is not a Jew who is one only outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a person’s praise is not from other people, but from God. (I bet this gave a lot of new Christian Gentiles hope, hope that the inheritance of the Jews could be theirs as well with true faith and obedience. I suppose today, the Jews could be used as a reference for those who have grown up in the church, and the Gentiles those who have not, and have come into the faith recently. We're as condemned as the Jews, those of us who have gone to Sunday school and heard the Word all our lives. We have a responsibility to step up and lead, and live that way, and share that with others who have not heard all their life. It's like parents. When they reach the throne of judgment, they'll be held accountable for what they did as parents, for their children. Their children too will be held accountable for their own actions, but the parents will be the ones who lead them in a certain way, ad will be held in even higher responsibility and thus possible condemnation for how their kids turned out. The leaders of our country will be judged that way as well, and I think that includes those of us who were blessed and priveleged to be among other believers our whole lives. We must live and share the Gospel with those who are newborns to the faith.)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
It's been a day...
I'm going to bed. I don't think I can handle too much more of today. Just one of those days... between the guys, the weariness, the go-go-go-ness of it all.... I need to sleep. Someone make me a "Do not disturb" sign for my heart, my eyes, and my bed........
Monday, January 24, 2011
Non existant...
The only thing worse than feeling like you don't belong somewhere is finding out that you don't....
Lunch is a wonderful time of day. It's a relief after the long morning, a chance for a break with nourishing (albeit disgusting) food, catch-up time with friends from other departments, and for a lucky few, a surprise package awaits them in the mail room. For myself, it meant a nice long walk across the main lawn on a beautiful, sunny winter day, across the campus I had so eagerly come back to. Down the long stairs into the main floor of the caf, joining the dozens of other interns as we awaited our turn to feast upon the food producing the delicious aromas that greeted us as we walked through the door. I grabbed a tray and eyed those ahead of me in line, amicably chatting with a friend I had met on the way in, when to my horrified surprise I heard, "I need to see your card, miss."
Unbeknownst to me, meal cards had been issued during my absence, to keep non-interns from sneaking in and taking advantage of anonymity in the caf. So I was left standing there holding an empty tray, slack jawed and wondering what had happened. Apparently, even given the 3 weeks heads up, administration had failed to register me in the system, which meant I was a nonperson. I didn't exist to them, not in this bubble of a world.
So a quick trip to my local friendly neighborhood campus store saved me from possible starvation, but my pride was burned, and I am still awaiting recognition as part of the Honor Academy community. We shall see how this turns out, but as of now... I.... am invisible.
~Char
the invisible girl
Update: (as of 2:26 pm) I am no longer invisible.... :)
Lunch is a wonderful time of day. It's a relief after the long morning, a chance for a break with nourishing (albeit disgusting) food, catch-up time with friends from other departments, and for a lucky few, a surprise package awaits them in the mail room. For myself, it meant a nice long walk across the main lawn on a beautiful, sunny winter day, across the campus I had so eagerly come back to. Down the long stairs into the main floor of the caf, joining the dozens of other interns as we awaited our turn to feast upon the food producing the delicious aromas that greeted us as we walked through the door. I grabbed a tray and eyed those ahead of me in line, amicably chatting with a friend I had met on the way in, when to my horrified surprise I heard, "I need to see your card, miss."
Unbeknownst to me, meal cards had been issued during my absence, to keep non-interns from sneaking in and taking advantage of anonymity in the caf. So I was left standing there holding an empty tray, slack jawed and wondering what had happened. Apparently, even given the 3 weeks heads up, administration had failed to register me in the system, which meant I was a nonperson. I didn't exist to them, not in this bubble of a world.
So a quick trip to my local friendly neighborhood campus store saved me from possible starvation, but my pride was burned, and I am still awaiting recognition as part of the Honor Academy community. We shall see how this turns out, but as of now... I.... am invisible.
~Char
the invisible girl
Update: (as of 2:26 pm) I am no longer invisible.... :)
Red Roses for Corpus
Assignment for the day: PA for a re-reshoot (lol) and research for lakes near Corpus Christi. Interesting fact: Saxet Lakes is the most popular lake in Texas for dropping off bodies...
It's very strange being back, seeing everyone I knew, and reconnecting. But at the same time, most of them have moved on with life, and I don't fit very well there right now. Linda and Travis were quick to pick me up again as a friend, but I guess everyone is really busy at CCM, so it's a little harder. Idk. No pity parties, only hard work and affection for everyone :)
I've hijacked Diamond's desk, as she is ill this day, and have lightly decorated it with a red rose in a long slender red vase. With the lanterns, the effect is quite exquisite. I'm very ready for my own desk again, so I can cease this transient phase I'm in currently. It doesn't help the feeling of not quite belonging...
Perhaps I should stay out of it, but there seems to be a lot of strife going on in the subhouse. Basically, the clash of the Titans, Staff Associates vs. CCMers. It's technically CCM housing, but the Staff Associates have taken over and have been creating rules that seem mostly focused on the CCM ladies living there, like no ppl over without 24 hour notice, and they have to clean the kitchen, etc. It's frustrating to me because most of the SAs were with me for my undergrad years, and then I am a CCMer myself, those are my girls, so I'm rather caught in the middle, even though I don't even live there. *sigh* such is life I suppose...
So this is this morning's blog. I'll probably blog again later, when I'm finished with the shoot. So far, I have a lot of free time while having none, and it's kind of fun.
Ta-ta for now :)
~Char
It's very strange being back, seeing everyone I knew, and reconnecting. But at the same time, most of them have moved on with life, and I don't fit very well there right now. Linda and Travis were quick to pick me up again as a friend, but I guess everyone is really busy at CCM, so it's a little harder. Idk. No pity parties, only hard work and affection for everyone :)
I've hijacked Diamond's desk, as she is ill this day, and have lightly decorated it with a red rose in a long slender red vase. With the lanterns, the effect is quite exquisite. I'm very ready for my own desk again, so I can cease this transient phase I'm in currently. It doesn't help the feeling of not quite belonging...
Perhaps I should stay out of it, but there seems to be a lot of strife going on in the subhouse. Basically, the clash of the Titans, Staff Associates vs. CCMers. It's technically CCM housing, but the Staff Associates have taken over and have been creating rules that seem mostly focused on the CCM ladies living there, like no ppl over without 24 hour notice, and they have to clean the kitchen, etc. It's frustrating to me because most of the SAs were with me for my undergrad years, and then I am a CCMer myself, those are my girls, so I'm rather caught in the middle, even though I don't even live there. *sigh* such is life I suppose...
So this is this morning's blog. I'll probably blog again later, when I'm finished with the shoot. So far, I have a lot of free time while having none, and it's kind of fun.
Ta-ta for now :)
~Char
Sunday, January 23, 2011
In the Beginning....The Rewrite!
So it's the end of the second day back, my third time back mind you. So far it's been pleasant. Got unpacked, settled into my room, met all my roomies and such. Sitting here watching everyone rifle through all the posters I brought back from work.
This is the end of it all, the last year, and I mean that. Really. I mean, honestly, how many times can a person mess up before they get it right? This time, it's all or nothing, no compromise!
So... I guess this is a new year resolution, of a...different sort. Blog every day possible, share my experiences, and let the world watch me as I DON'T fail. Hear that world??? I WILL FINISH THIS!!!
So end of blog 1. Not that anyone is probably even reading this, but hey, it's out there. Peace out, and good night from Texas.
~Char
This is the end of it all, the last year, and I mean that. Really. I mean, honestly, how many times can a person mess up before they get it right? This time, it's all or nothing, no compromise!
So... I guess this is a new year resolution, of a...different sort. Blog every day possible, share my experiences, and let the world watch me as I DON'T fail. Hear that world??? I WILL FINISH THIS!!!
So end of blog 1. Not that anyone is probably even reading this, but hey, it's out there. Peace out, and good night from Texas.
~Char
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