I find myself in a very Irish mood today. lol I don't know what it is, but I feel lighter than usual, and I've got Solas tuning in my ears at the moment. Funny thing though, I'm in all black. I apparently "look like death's girlfriend". Thanks for that, Zach. ;)
My current goals for myself I find cover a vast spectrum, from language, to film, to clothing, to spiritual. I'm trying to learn Irish, been trying for many years, while at the same time studying French as well. I'd like my kids at least to be fluently multilingual, and I know being even partially so myself will increase the chances of reaching that goal. I'm also learning again to play the guitar, thanks to Kenji, tho so far all I've managed to do is slice my finger on the high string. *sigh* I am a terminal clutz...
On another note though, been going through Disciplines of a Godly Woman, which was originally a part of my growth plan to come back here to the Honor Academy. Feeling the need for a refresher course, if you will. I feel like I need to change quite a few things in my life, both spiritually, mentally, and physically. Good news in that last department: I've lost 15 lbs in the last couple weeks and I'm actually starting to see it in my face at least. So there's good news!
There are a lot more things I want/need to change, and I know, really, only God can really help me with that. I'm a frail human, susceptible to my own failings, and prone to wander. But my heart at least is seeking for integrity and honor, even if it has to drag the rest of me with it. So for now, I keep seeking. I keep hoping.
One last thing, if you're reading this, and you feel hurt by me in the last several weeks, whether seeemingly intentional or not, please know I am truly, deeply sorry. I am trying to become a better person, both for you, myself, and everyone else. My true heart never intends to hurt people, but again, I'm finding there is much growing that I need to do, and for you, I will.
Love always,
~Char
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Conception and Birth of Veritas (UTLD)
So I've always had a heart for helping people. Not to brag, but when I was a very little girl, as the story goes, I found a $5 bill at our mall, and without even flinching dropped it into one of the red cross buckets. My grandma swore up and down I was going to be a social worker someday, and I even had designs for a homeless shelter for kids before I turned 12. Needless to say, I have a passion for helping people.
So it came as a bit of a surprise when this passion was equally met by another: for film and television. I had stars in my eyes every time I watched a behind-the-scenes clip, dreaming one day of joining the glamorous stars of Hollywood. Not of course, in front of the camera. I am much to "shy" for that. :)
So what to do? How do I follow my heart's dreams without betraying it at the same time? One or the other? But which one?
And here's the God moment: one day, sitting at my computer, completely bored out of my mind, I came across a small show called Vanguard. These award winning journalists travel around the world documenting lesser known socially impacting issues, like the young soccer slaves in Africa for the world cup (which left thousands of boys stranded in countries they didn't know, far from their families). So it hit me: I could do that. I could take my skills and knowledge in media, and share my heart for the lost and hurting with the world, just like them!
And so, Veritas was born (formally Veritas Unlimited). "Veritas" is Latin for truth, as in absolute truth, and my heart is to share that with others. I know so many others see the hardships their fellow human beings face and are constantly asking them how they can help. The innumerable stories we see on tv or read about pull at our heart strings, and sometimes, we find ourselves wondering, "Just how can I help? What could I possibly do to make a difference?"
The mission of Veritas ULTD is to not only document such human tragedies as natural disasters, war, human trafficking, etc, but to share the heart of those affected with those who can help. And not only that, but to also guide the able through the process of actually reaching out to them, whether by donation, volunteering, or more drastic measures, as have been recently seen by the throngs of people traveling to Japan in order to help with the relief effort.
I, along with a small (and yet unknown) team, will travel around the globe, as well as the US, and cover stories that affect all walks of life. This includes but is not limited to: human and sex trafficking, war times, tribal domestic abuse, natural disasters, missionary life, poverty, etc. The most heartbreaking thing about some people's stories is that it can happen to anyone. Mother nature strikes back at a moment's notice, the economy leaves a family destitute, a young girl is kidnapped and sold into slavery...
So as I continue to pray and ponder the next move, be praying for me, and maybe even leave a comment about something you'd like covered, or a group you support and what they do. There are so many ways to help others in this broken world, and new hands are reaching out every day to do it.
Thanks,
~Char
Founder of Veritas, ULTD
So it came as a bit of a surprise when this passion was equally met by another: for film and television. I had stars in my eyes every time I watched a behind-the-scenes clip, dreaming one day of joining the glamorous stars of Hollywood. Not of course, in front of the camera. I am much to "shy" for that. :)
So what to do? How do I follow my heart's dreams without betraying it at the same time? One or the other? But which one?
And here's the God moment: one day, sitting at my computer, completely bored out of my mind, I came across a small show called Vanguard. These award winning journalists travel around the world documenting lesser known socially impacting issues, like the young soccer slaves in Africa for the world cup (which left thousands of boys stranded in countries they didn't know, far from their families). So it hit me: I could do that. I could take my skills and knowledge in media, and share my heart for the lost and hurting with the world, just like them!
And so, Veritas was born (formally Veritas Unlimited). "Veritas" is Latin for truth, as in absolute truth, and my heart is to share that with others. I know so many others see the hardships their fellow human beings face and are constantly asking them how they can help. The innumerable stories we see on tv or read about pull at our heart strings, and sometimes, we find ourselves wondering, "Just how can I help? What could I possibly do to make a difference?"
The mission of Veritas ULTD is to not only document such human tragedies as natural disasters, war, human trafficking, etc, but to share the heart of those affected with those who can help. And not only that, but to also guide the able through the process of actually reaching out to them, whether by donation, volunteering, or more drastic measures, as have been recently seen by the throngs of people traveling to Japan in order to help with the relief effort.
I, along with a small (and yet unknown) team, will travel around the globe, as well as the US, and cover stories that affect all walks of life. This includes but is not limited to: human and sex trafficking, war times, tribal domestic abuse, natural disasters, missionary life, poverty, etc. The most heartbreaking thing about some people's stories is that it can happen to anyone. Mother nature strikes back at a moment's notice, the economy leaves a family destitute, a young girl is kidnapped and sold into slavery...
So as I continue to pray and ponder the next move, be praying for me, and maybe even leave a comment about something you'd like covered, or a group you support and what they do. There are so many ways to help others in this broken world, and new hands are reaching out every day to do it.
Thanks,
~Char
Founder of Veritas, ULTD
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
*sigh*
It's hard to give your heart to people who really say they want it, but don't understand you enough to know how to handle it or take care of it. You wanna give them credit fro trying, but it's hard doing even that because you're still healing from something really stupid or ignorant they did. Having someone's heart, or a piece of it, is a big responsibility, and I don't think most people understand that. They just want the fun part, where they get loved and feel good. But who's actually willing to put in the effort of taking care of the heart of someone else? Of noticing what makes them happy, in the deeper ways, and what hurts them? Or even just being willing to put their own heart aside long enough to SEE the other person's heart?
God, help me to love others as they need to be loved, and either harden my heart to be able to endure the pain, or bring quick healing to my own heart...
~Char
God, help me to love others as they need to be loved, and either harden my heart to be able to endure the pain, or bring quick healing to my own heart...
~Char
Friday, May 6, 2011
Road Trip!
Wow, it has been AWHILE since I've been on here (sorry!). So much has happened!
Ok, talk about a wild ride, but of the... 10? 11? weeks I've been back, I've been gone for at least 8 of them. Being on the road has been fantastic (though not without it's "uh oh" moments lol), but I am so very glad to be back stationary on campus once more. Gosh, where all have I been? Let's see...Albuquerque...Atlanta....San Diego (that was a nightmare and a half).... Portland (very wet)..... Denver.... New York (more like New Jersey).....and back again, wow! Seriously have covered basically every corner of the US in the last several weeks!
Atlanta was a lot of fun, as it was my event my first year here (on the call team). It was neat to see how the church had been renovated since last we'd been in it, and to see some familiar faces among those attending. Definitely better the second time around! Albuquerque was a nice change from the then cold Texas rain. Nice and warm! Though I can't say my feet agreed with the burs littering the ground...but man! you should have SEEN the kid's room in the church! It literally looked like a city block from downtown Chicago or New York or something! Complete with real cars, a merry old English phone book, and trees that had video game consoles embedded into the bark. Way cool... San Diego was a different beast altogether. I love California, but there were a few people there I could have done without seeing, if you know what I mean. Lexi showed up, which was AWESOME!!! (Missed you girl! 1 more week!) Ha, we even got to go to the beach, which I will never ever ever get tired of :D Dang, after San Diego I had a week to recover before we scooted on up to NYC for the BattleCry (which was actually held in East Rutherford, NJ). We managed to sneak away for a few hours and see the big city across the bridge (best thing ever: Stewart- "Oh my gosh! It's broadway! Wait, why are there two? No, THREE!!!" We happily explained the difference between Broadway theater and Broadway performances. Still hilarious!) Ran into a guy I interviewed the year previous, who surprisingly remembered me. After getting back from New York, I had just enough time to shower and throw in a quick load of laundry before hopping onto yet ANOTHER bus heading for the west coast. Portland was lovely and rainy, and we actually saw a good bit of snow on the way there, which was funny cuz we were all in shorts and flip flops. I had a great chance to talk to some kids who were dealing with cutting, and it was awesome to see that not only my tattoo, but I had an impact on someone in a positive way. It was great! Luckily for me, my grand tour (mostly) ended with me being dropped off with family in Colorado. That's a WHOLE other story for another day, but needless to say: most relaxing and interesting vacation ever :) I miss you guys!
Why am I on the road so much? We host live youth events across the nation every year, and someone's gotta record em, right? That's my job. I do interviews and live event coverage at the events, so that families and churches back home can see what it is exactly their kids have been up to the past weekend (to check out some of our vids, go to www.youtube.com/user/ATFacquirethefire). It's a great opportunity to talk to people and see what's really going on with the kids that go to these events. Most of them really open up for a chance to be in front of the camera, especially when their youth leader's not around censoring everything, or intimidating them. Alot of them don't want their group to know what they're struggling with, because it makes them look "weak" somehow (which obviously isn't true).
*contented sigh* Now, time to rest and relax and prep for the summer events, aka, GE and XC. We're going to be flooded with campers and young missionaries here this summer, and guess who's going to talk to them...
~Char
PS. if anyone wants to send me some sunscreen (or tanning oil lol) that would MARVELOUS! Thanks guys :D
Ok, talk about a wild ride, but of the... 10? 11? weeks I've been back, I've been gone for at least 8 of them. Being on the road has been fantastic (though not without it's "uh oh" moments lol), but I am so very glad to be back stationary on campus once more. Gosh, where all have I been? Let's see...Albuquerque...Atlanta....San Diego (that was a nightmare and a half).... Portland (very wet)..... Denver.... New York (more like New Jersey).....and back again, wow! Seriously have covered basically every corner of the US in the last several weeks!
Atlanta was a lot of fun, as it was my event my first year here (on the call team). It was neat to see how the church had been renovated since last we'd been in it, and to see some familiar faces among those attending. Definitely better the second time around! Albuquerque was a nice change from the then cold Texas rain. Nice and warm! Though I can't say my feet agreed with the burs littering the ground...but man! you should have SEEN the kid's room in the church! It literally looked like a city block from downtown Chicago or New York or something! Complete with real cars, a merry old English phone book, and trees that had video game consoles embedded into the bark. Way cool... San Diego was a different beast altogether. I love California, but there were a few people there I could have done without seeing, if you know what I mean. Lexi showed up, which was AWESOME!!! (Missed you girl! 1 more week!) Ha, we even got to go to the beach, which I will never ever ever get tired of :D Dang, after San Diego I had a week to recover before we scooted on up to NYC for the BattleCry (which was actually held in East Rutherford, NJ). We managed to sneak away for a few hours and see the big city across the bridge (best thing ever: Stewart- "Oh my gosh! It's broadway! Wait, why are there two? No, THREE!!!" We happily explained the difference between Broadway theater and Broadway performances. Still hilarious!) Ran into a guy I interviewed the year previous, who surprisingly remembered me. After getting back from New York, I had just enough time to shower and throw in a quick load of laundry before hopping onto yet ANOTHER bus heading for the west coast. Portland was lovely and rainy, and we actually saw a good bit of snow on the way there, which was funny cuz we were all in shorts and flip flops. I had a great chance to talk to some kids who were dealing with cutting, and it was awesome to see that not only my tattoo, but I had an impact on someone in a positive way. It was great! Luckily for me, my grand tour (mostly) ended with me being dropped off with family in Colorado. That's a WHOLE other story for another day, but needless to say: most relaxing and interesting vacation ever :) I miss you guys!
Why am I on the road so much? We host live youth events across the nation every year, and someone's gotta record em, right? That's my job. I do interviews and live event coverage at the events, so that families and churches back home can see what it is exactly their kids have been up to the past weekend (to check out some of our vids, go to www.youtube.com/user/ATFacquirethefire). It's a great opportunity to talk to people and see what's really going on with the kids that go to these events. Most of them really open up for a chance to be in front of the camera, especially when their youth leader's not around censoring everything, or intimidating them. Alot of them don't want their group to know what they're struggling with, because it makes them look "weak" somehow (which obviously isn't true).
*contented sigh* Now, time to rest and relax and prep for the summer events, aka, GE and XC. We're going to be flooded with campers and young missionaries here this summer, and guess who's going to talk to them...
~Char
PS. if anyone wants to send me some sunscreen (or tanning oil lol) that would MARVELOUS! Thanks guys :D
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Losing my mind
"Ok, breathe... Camera: check.
Clean laundry? Check.
Packed? Check.
Shower stuff? Check. Need that...
Crap, where is my toothbrush? Oh, check...
Batteries....check.
Money....ah, who am I kidding....
Food... sort of check....
Ok. PACKED!
Oh crap."
Freeze frame here on my face. What do we see? We see the panicked look of a girl who just realized that all of her equipment is still at work, and she left no room to pack any of it. It's the look of a girl who knows her editor may kill her for not thinking ahead and for possibly having to stash some stuff in his box. This look, was mine.
My life is a crazy rollercoaster, with twists and turns, and crappy seat belts that leave you wondering if you're going to get dumped off the ride at the next turn. Between shoots, filling deliveries from the library, and a "life" outside the walls of the studio, my life is a little crazy, not to mention going on the road. Of the 2 months I've been back, I think I've been gone at least a month of it, traveling to different corners of the US to record the amazing testimonies of teenagers and young adults who attend our events. Oh, and to go to the beach in San Diego of course ;)
Honestly, if my life wasn't totally crazy and up ended, I think I would be wicked bored. Come on, who wouldn't want to travel the states, hang out backstage with top Christian artists and speakers, and meet hundreds of cool and varied people every weekend? Granted, personal space and shower time is limited, but just think of all the cool memories. I don't think even I will bother remembering how stinky the bus is at the end of the weekend, or just how hungry we were when we roll back onto campus. We're all too busy gushing about how Joel Johnson high fived/hugged us, or how we had lunch with Unhindered, or Leeland, or that R-Swift joked with us about breaking his freaking toe ON STAGE DURING A CONCERT. Seriously, no one cares about the hard stuff.
I love seeing people's faces when I explain to them what I do, or show them the highlight reels, or my own little videos. It's a cross between half-hidden jealousy, shock, and confusion, not to mention the starry eyed look everyone gets when they start thinking about VIPs and Backstage, etc. I think the best part about going to the events is seeing the reality of it all, that the VIPs are more like VNPs, that is, very normal people, just like me. Leeland did a birthday video for one our girls, and Joel Johnson told me he likes my job, and R-Swift thinks its funny that one of my shoulders is slightly more muscley than the other because of my camera. That's normal people stuff. Gives you a sense that you can do it too, and that wherever we're at in ministry and life, we're all still equal to God.
We here at the studio are getting ready to head to our biggest event yet: the New York/Tristate Area BattleCry at the IZOD Center. It's a live event, and will be broadcast live to GodTV, so that means a lot of extra hours of prep, and a heck of a lot more people at the event. We're running the feed through a video truck (Trost Pictures), plus manning cameras in the arena, ENG crew interviewing attendees in the halls, and prep work for VIPs, whether they're heading for the stage or our interview room with our hosts. Literally hundreds of MiniDVs and Beta tapes will be recorded, labeled, and archived and by the end of the weekend (27 hours of film time), we'll have close to over 300 hours worth of footage to sort through and possibly transcribe once we get back to the studio. THAT'S INTENSE!
There's a lot of work that goes into making movie magic, and the funny thing is that the movie business is not nearly as glamorous as everyone thinks it is. Well, red carpet nights certainly are. But 3 am wake up calls for shoots in the freezing cold, 6 hours working on makeup, transcribing for weeks at a time, and God only knows how many coffee runs in a day? That's hard work. But man is it FUN. As my boss likes to say, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."
For now, it's back to transcribing for me, and praying with everything in me that I don't pass out from how amazing this food next to me smells.
Welcome to my world....
~Char
Clean laundry? Check.
Packed? Check.
Shower stuff? Check. Need that...
Crap, where is my toothbrush? Oh, check...
Batteries....check.
Money....ah, who am I kidding....
Food... sort of check....
Ok. PACKED!
Oh crap."
Freeze frame here on my face. What do we see? We see the panicked look of a girl who just realized that all of her equipment is still at work, and she left no room to pack any of it. It's the look of a girl who knows her editor may kill her for not thinking ahead and for possibly having to stash some stuff in his box. This look, was mine.
My life is a crazy rollercoaster, with twists and turns, and crappy seat belts that leave you wondering if you're going to get dumped off the ride at the next turn. Between shoots, filling deliveries from the library, and a "life" outside the walls of the studio, my life is a little crazy, not to mention going on the road. Of the 2 months I've been back, I think I've been gone at least a month of it, traveling to different corners of the US to record the amazing testimonies of teenagers and young adults who attend our events. Oh, and to go to the beach in San Diego of course ;)
Honestly, if my life wasn't totally crazy and up ended, I think I would be wicked bored. Come on, who wouldn't want to travel the states, hang out backstage with top Christian artists and speakers, and meet hundreds of cool and varied people every weekend? Granted, personal space and shower time is limited, but just think of all the cool memories. I don't think even I will bother remembering how stinky the bus is at the end of the weekend, or just how hungry we were when we roll back onto campus. We're all too busy gushing about how Joel Johnson high fived/hugged us, or how we had lunch with Unhindered, or Leeland, or that R-Swift joked with us about breaking his freaking toe ON STAGE DURING A CONCERT. Seriously, no one cares about the hard stuff.
I love seeing people's faces when I explain to them what I do, or show them the highlight reels, or my own little videos. It's a cross between half-hidden jealousy, shock, and confusion, not to mention the starry eyed look everyone gets when they start thinking about VIPs and Backstage, etc. I think the best part about going to the events is seeing the reality of it all, that the VIPs are more like VNPs, that is, very normal people, just like me. Leeland did a birthday video for one our girls, and Joel Johnson told me he likes my job, and R-Swift thinks its funny that one of my shoulders is slightly more muscley than the other because of my camera. That's normal people stuff. Gives you a sense that you can do it too, and that wherever we're at in ministry and life, we're all still equal to God.
We here at the studio are getting ready to head to our biggest event yet: the New York/Tristate Area BattleCry at the IZOD Center. It's a live event, and will be broadcast live to GodTV, so that means a lot of extra hours of prep, and a heck of a lot more people at the event. We're running the feed through a video truck (Trost Pictures), plus manning cameras in the arena, ENG crew interviewing attendees in the halls, and prep work for VIPs, whether they're heading for the stage or our interview room with our hosts. Literally hundreds of MiniDVs and Beta tapes will be recorded, labeled, and archived and by the end of the weekend (27 hours of film time), we'll have close to over 300 hours worth of footage to sort through and possibly transcribe once we get back to the studio. THAT'S INTENSE!
There's a lot of work that goes into making movie magic, and the funny thing is that the movie business is not nearly as glamorous as everyone thinks it is. Well, red carpet nights certainly are. But 3 am wake up calls for shoots in the freezing cold, 6 hours working on makeup, transcribing for weeks at a time, and God only knows how many coffee runs in a day? That's hard work. But man is it FUN. As my boss likes to say, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."
For now, it's back to transcribing for me, and praying with everything in me that I don't pass out from how amazing this food next to me smells.
Welcome to my world....
~Char
Family
I'm a family kinda gal. I love seeing my family, even if I dread it. They mean the world to me, but my oh my, are we a strange group...
I grew up with my mom's family, and they're an interesting bunch. Most of them live in Boston, and they all sound like it, which I love. I love listening to people with different accents, because I don't really have much of one myself. Yay for growing up in Alaska! lol anyway, it's a huge Irish Catholic family, which kinda sounds cliche, but I love my big family. There's always something going on, there's always a fun get together, someone's always pregnant/engaged/some big news, and there's no shortage of little cousins to play with, at any age. I think we have someone for every number between 0 and 50.
Mom and Grandma were the ones who raised me, and when I was 12, my stepdad came into the picture. That also meant a new brother. SO I had two brothers, and was still wishing for a sister. I DO love my brothers though, don't get me wrong. lol plus, being the only girl, I got my own room. What's not to love about that?
In high school, I got a new family, sort of, who took me in and helped me graduate. I love this family so much, because of their kindness and generosity and love, even though I wasn't technically blood related. Haha, I finally got a sister, and not just one, but two! And to top it off, I got 4 new brothers. That means I am one of 10! Yikes lol
I'm finally getting a chance to meet and get to know my dad's side of the family, and sometimes I think I'm more like them than my mom's, because they're all wacky and fun and crazy in basically the same ways I am. Heck, one of them is a director, a big movie dude like me :D Wicked excited to see them, because it's like a missing piece of my life is finally falling into place.
I am the one connector between these different parts of my family. They don't always get along, don't always see eye to eye, and they have a rather nasty habit of fighting for time with me. I love being wanted like that, but I don't like being made to feel guilty for not being to visit every single one of them every time I come up for air from this place. But you know... I love em, all of them. The crazy ones, the "normal" ones, the older ones, the little tiny ones who are brand new to our family; all of them. And that's really all I actually want to say.
~Char
Kemp/Manning/Blunck/Brooks/Cahill/Morgan/Derby/Wallace/Hunter
I grew up with my mom's family, and they're an interesting bunch. Most of them live in Boston, and they all sound like it, which I love. I love listening to people with different accents, because I don't really have much of one myself. Yay for growing up in Alaska! lol anyway, it's a huge Irish Catholic family, which kinda sounds cliche, but I love my big family. There's always something going on, there's always a fun get together, someone's always pregnant/engaged/some big news, and there's no shortage of little cousins to play with, at any age. I think we have someone for every number between 0 and 50.
Mom and Grandma were the ones who raised me, and when I was 12, my stepdad came into the picture. That also meant a new brother. SO I had two brothers, and was still wishing for a sister. I DO love my brothers though, don't get me wrong. lol plus, being the only girl, I got my own room. What's not to love about that?
In high school, I got a new family, sort of, who took me in and helped me graduate. I love this family so much, because of their kindness and generosity and love, even though I wasn't technically blood related. Haha, I finally got a sister, and not just one, but two! And to top it off, I got 4 new brothers. That means I am one of 10! Yikes lol
I'm finally getting a chance to meet and get to know my dad's side of the family, and sometimes I think I'm more like them than my mom's, because they're all wacky and fun and crazy in basically the same ways I am. Heck, one of them is a director, a big movie dude like me :D Wicked excited to see them, because it's like a missing piece of my life is finally falling into place.
I am the one connector between these different parts of my family. They don't always get along, don't always see eye to eye, and they have a rather nasty habit of fighting for time with me. I love being wanted like that, but I don't like being made to feel guilty for not being to visit every single one of them every time I come up for air from this place. But you know... I love em, all of them. The crazy ones, the "normal" ones, the older ones, the little tiny ones who are brand new to our family; all of them. And that's really all I actually want to say.
~Char
Kemp/Manning/Blunck/Brooks/Cahill/Morgan/Derby/Wallace/Hunter
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I flubbed that one...
So I was assigned ENG for the San Diego event this weekend, and things did not go as well as I had hoped or planned... Lemme start at the beginning...
San Diego is in California (obviously), which just so happens to be my second favorite state (Alaska being the first). So I was quite thrilled to be going. The bus ride was a little long, but me and one of the girls decided we were going to "document" everything on the trip, which turned out to be epicly hilarious. :P
Anyway, so we get to California, and one of the guys from my first brother core runs up and informs me that one of our sisters is going to be at the event. Now, normally, I would be extremely excited at this turn of events, but said sister happens to be dating my ex. We three don't exactly get along right now, for a lot of reasons, so this news wasn't that exciting. What I didn't realize was the little surprise she was bringing with her, who happened to be sitting in the sanctuary Thursday afternoon. Needless to say, there was a "very important job that needed my absolutely needed my attention that very second". Dealing with my ex was probably the most difficult thing to do this weekend, despite never actually verbally speaking to him.
It's one thing trying to get over someone when they live half a world away, and you don't actually have to physically deal with them. It's a whole other ballgame when they are practically right under you for an entire weekend, passive-aggressively refusing to move out of your way so you can do your job with minimal distraction.*sigh* ya, this weekend, I was quite thoroughly distracted, and not in a good way. Interviewing people was hard, seeing as how I tend to internalize when confronted like this, and having to be a happy extroverted producer wasn't exactly what I was looking for.
This led to a very frustrating conversation with my manager, Doug, and a kick in the pants from myself. Honestly, I'm glad I'm not going to Sacramento, because the possibility of a repeat of this weekend is highly unappealing, and despite what I gained this weekend, alot was taken out of me emotionally, and thus, physically.
I will say this though: after spending some time with my awesome best friend Lex, and matching up our timelines insofar as dating him went, I realized the truth about my current situation and what ACTUALLY happened in the relationship, which in turn returned even the smallest portion of my dignity. I wasn't a woman scorned because of failures in the relationship (which had all been blamed on me), it was in fact a matter of infidelity and of a jerk thinking he could get away with pitting two best friends against each other across the thousand miles that seperated us, effectively having his "cake" and eating it too. Funny thing though, kinda backfired on him when she broke up with his sorry self and we became friends again. Haha, sucker.
Ok, sorry if this blog sounds kind of morose and sarcastic, but that's kinda how this weekend was. As I said though, I got my dignity back, and a large chunk of that spark in me. My roomates actually commented on it after we practically redecorated the entire room.
Hello again, awesome world, and good bye (and good riddance) stupid jerks who think they can use and abuse women and their hearts. Your days are numbered.
~Char
"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people that are reckless with yours." -KV
San Diego is in California (obviously), which just so happens to be my second favorite state (Alaska being the first). So I was quite thrilled to be going. The bus ride was a little long, but me and one of the girls decided we were going to "document" everything on the trip, which turned out to be epicly hilarious. :P
Anyway, so we get to California, and one of the guys from my first brother core runs up and informs me that one of our sisters is going to be at the event. Now, normally, I would be extremely excited at this turn of events, but said sister happens to be dating my ex. We three don't exactly get along right now, for a lot of reasons, so this news wasn't that exciting. What I didn't realize was the little surprise she was bringing with her, who happened to be sitting in the sanctuary Thursday afternoon. Needless to say, there was a "very important job that needed my absolutely needed my attention that very second". Dealing with my ex was probably the most difficult thing to do this weekend, despite never actually verbally speaking to him.
It's one thing trying to get over someone when they live half a world away, and you don't actually have to physically deal with them. It's a whole other ballgame when they are practically right under you for an entire weekend, passive-aggressively refusing to move out of your way so you can do your job with minimal distraction.*sigh* ya, this weekend, I was quite thoroughly distracted, and not in a good way. Interviewing people was hard, seeing as how I tend to internalize when confronted like this, and having to be a happy extroverted producer wasn't exactly what I was looking for.
This led to a very frustrating conversation with my manager, Doug, and a kick in the pants from myself. Honestly, I'm glad I'm not going to Sacramento, because the possibility of a repeat of this weekend is highly unappealing, and despite what I gained this weekend, alot was taken out of me emotionally, and thus, physically.
I will say this though: after spending some time with my awesome best friend Lex, and matching up our timelines insofar as dating him went, I realized the truth about my current situation and what ACTUALLY happened in the relationship, which in turn returned even the smallest portion of my dignity. I wasn't a woman scorned because of failures in the relationship (which had all been blamed on me), it was in fact a matter of infidelity and of a jerk thinking he could get away with pitting two best friends against each other across the thousand miles that seperated us, effectively having his "cake" and eating it too. Funny thing though, kinda backfired on him when she broke up with his sorry self and we became friends again. Haha, sucker.
Ok, sorry if this blog sounds kind of morose and sarcastic, but that's kinda how this weekend was. As I said though, I got my dignity back, and a large chunk of that spark in me. My roomates actually commented on it after we practically redecorated the entire room.
Hello again, awesome world, and good bye (and good riddance) stupid jerks who think they can use and abuse women and their hearts. Your days are numbered.
~Char
"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people that are reckless with yours." -KV
Friday, March 18, 2011
Arrogance or Desperation?
I learned something about myself today. I've been feeling rather blue lately, and my muse seems to have flown the coop, and I wasn't exactly sure why. I initially thought it may have to do with having to "talk about it", but then I got a surprise visit from my best friend, who flew all the way out from Cali to see me. :) What I realized was that I might be arrogant.
I'm not arrogant.
My first year here at the Honor Academy was an amazing year (as short as it was). I had some amazing friends, and I was on top of the world. People love really easily over there, and it honestly was a very nice change from what I'd come from.
And then... I came to CCM.
Now don't get me wrong, the people here are great. But they are extremely competitive, as they should be in this industry just to survive. But I'm a person who needs love. I need someone to get excited when they see me.
But I'm NOT arrogant.
Mary Beth keeps making me think, think about how I feel, think about my past, blah blah blah, and with all the thinking, sometimes I wonder if my brain isn't going to fry itself in my skull. But seeing Lexi, and noticing the difference in my friendship with her and my roomies, and even my friendships with Sam, Lauren, etc, the difference was startling enough that it got me thinking down another track.
I don't like making presentations, and I hate being in front of the camera, except when it's in my hand. I want to be loved for the fact that I feel hardly ever loved, in a way I can handle, and I've found that the outspoken word or form of physical affection seems to be the most proficient in accomplishing that. SO no, I'm not arrogant. I think I am more desperate than arrogant, like a starving kid tackles a pile of bread, or a weary college student craves sleep. I want to be loved. Simple as that.
~Char
I'm not arrogant.
My first year here at the Honor Academy was an amazing year (as short as it was). I had some amazing friends, and I was on top of the world. People love really easily over there, and it honestly was a very nice change from what I'd come from.
And then... I came to CCM.
Now don't get me wrong, the people here are great. But they are extremely competitive, as they should be in this industry just to survive. But I'm a person who needs love. I need someone to get excited when they see me.
But I'm NOT arrogant.
Mary Beth keeps making me think, think about how I feel, think about my past, blah blah blah, and with all the thinking, sometimes I wonder if my brain isn't going to fry itself in my skull. But seeing Lexi, and noticing the difference in my friendship with her and my roomies, and even my friendships with Sam, Lauren, etc, the difference was startling enough that it got me thinking down another track.
I don't like making presentations, and I hate being in front of the camera, except when it's in my hand. I want to be loved for the fact that I feel hardly ever loved, in a way I can handle, and I've found that the outspoken word or form of physical affection seems to be the most proficient in accomplishing that. SO no, I'm not arrogant. I think I am more desperate than arrogant, like a starving kid tackles a pile of bread, or a weary college student craves sleep. I want to be loved. Simple as that.
~Char
Thursday, March 3, 2011
"Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel"
You know why it's so weird to "talk about it"? Because everyone else makes it weird. You sit there, you pour your heart out, and then there's that strange awkward pause as they try to reconcile in their minds what just spewed out of your mouth. Then, inevitably, one of two things happens: the pity party, or the fixer upper.
Idk which is worse, to be honest. The people who pity you are annoying, because suddenly, where they thought there was a whole person, normal human being, is now a pitiable broken miserable waif of a thing, worthy only of their "love and tender affection in their time of need". Or they'll say something like, "Oh, um….ummm… *awkward pause*… sorry?" THAT's comforting…It's not like people are even looking for comfort half the time. It's the other person who wanted to freaking know!
And then there are the fixer uppers. Those headstrong and confident souls who think they understand the workings of the world, and want to make everything right within it. They sit there and tell you all the different steps and processes you have to go through, and you're stuck sitting there having to listen to their "kind advice", which is really based on assumptions about your life based on the very little they actually know of it. Then, when the conversation is over, they'll send you on your merry little way, and leave feeling rather trite in their assessment and execution therein, while you are left wondering who let them out of the funny farm and if you should even bother adding their advice to the long list of the same crap you've gotten from everyone else.
I mean, think about it: most of the people you come across, their life sucks in some way, but not usually the same way. How many people can honestly sit there and answer in the affirmative that their dad got knocked off by a man who ran an illegal chop shop? And besides that, how many people can say they have 5 parents on top of that, and 9 siblings, and explain WHY without having a breakdown? And that's just MY story...
Want to know why it's weird to talk about it? Because other people DON'T GET IT, and they never really will. The shrinks ought to think of that when they wonder why kids clam up when asked about all their dirty little secrets...
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Problem Isn't Fixed
When I was in 3rd grade, my mom took me to the eye doctor, because I was complaining of my eyes hurting and blurriness. The doctor said I had bad eye sight, so they gave me glasses. As I got older, my eyesight got worse, as it does, and so I got stronger prescriptions, to help alleviate the problem. Eventually I even got a pair of glasses that doubled as sun glasses, which I thought was pretty darn cool.
But it didn't fix the problem.
My eyesight was still bad: my vision was blurry, at a distance, and regardless of how long or how often I wore my glasses, whenever I took them off, my world still looked the same.
I think the heart is like that. We get hurt or damaged, and so we build walls around our hearts to try to "remedy" the problem, to be able to function. We pretend we don't feel pain, we act like it doesn't matter, but when we take those "glasses" off, we realize our view of the world around us is still warped from the twisted sight of our heart's eyes, caused by the damage that has been done to us. We haven't fixed the problem, what is actually causing us to see things incorrectly. We see the world as a dark and dangerous place, which it can be, but that's not how it's SUPPOSED to be.
The only way to fix bad vision permanently is with corrective surgery, like LASIK surgery or some other form of laser surgery. The same can be said for the heart. The only way to truly fix the damage that has been done is so remove the walls, that HIDE the damage, and get down to the core root of the problem and remove it. The only one who can truly do that is Christ, because, like a trained physician, he is truly able to understand the inner workings of our hearts, and knows his way around well enough to find the problem, and has the training and knowledge to fix it (c'mon, he CREATED the heart).
My prayer for myself is that as God continues to work on my heart, he'll heal my eyes as well and bring both to full restoration, so my eyes, which are "the entrance to the soul", may be a living testimony of what he has done to my heart, and I may show people how I was able to throw aside both pairs of "glasses", and live in true healing and perfect sight of the world around me.
~Char
But it didn't fix the problem.
My eyesight was still bad: my vision was blurry, at a distance, and regardless of how long or how often I wore my glasses, whenever I took them off, my world still looked the same.
I think the heart is like that. We get hurt or damaged, and so we build walls around our hearts to try to "remedy" the problem, to be able to function. We pretend we don't feel pain, we act like it doesn't matter, but when we take those "glasses" off, we realize our view of the world around us is still warped from the twisted sight of our heart's eyes, caused by the damage that has been done to us. We haven't fixed the problem, what is actually causing us to see things incorrectly. We see the world as a dark and dangerous place, which it can be, but that's not how it's SUPPOSED to be.
The only way to fix bad vision permanently is with corrective surgery, like LASIK surgery or some other form of laser surgery. The same can be said for the heart. The only way to truly fix the damage that has been done is so remove the walls, that HIDE the damage, and get down to the core root of the problem and remove it. The only one who can truly do that is Christ, because, like a trained physician, he is truly able to understand the inner workings of our hearts, and knows his way around well enough to find the problem, and has the training and knowledge to fix it (c'mon, he CREATED the heart).
My prayer for myself is that as God continues to work on my heart, he'll heal my eyes as well and bring both to full restoration, so my eyes, which are "the entrance to the soul", may be a living testimony of what he has done to my heart, and I may show people how I was able to throw aside both pairs of "glasses", and live in true healing and perfect sight of the world around me.
~Char
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Prodigal Lover
"Dark am I, yet lovely,
daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
My mother’s sons were angry with me
and made me take care of the vineyards;
my own vineyard I had to neglect.
Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends?" -Song of Solomon 1:5-7
This verse speaks to me in a strange way. She, the bride of the king, the wisest king, was used and abused by her family, and scorned by her neighbors. Yet still he loved her, above all the others. It's inspiring to know that even humans can love like that, and I know above all else, my King loves me that way too. My scars, my "darkness", is still lovely to Him. My years of self torture and anguish, beautiful in His eyes, as my other attributes, all of which He gave me.
It goes on to ask why she should feel the need to hide her face among those who know Him. It should be like that in the church, the bride of Christ, for those with pasts to be able to hold their redeemed head up among other believers. Where does this judgment and exile-attitude come from?
There's more to learn in the Song of Solomon, even if it is notorious for being the most scandalous book in the Bible. Taylor made a point of it being a perfect example of the intimacy between Jesus and his Bride, the church.
~Char
daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
My mother’s sons were angry with me
and made me take care of the vineyards;
my own vineyard I had to neglect.
Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends?" -Song of Solomon 1:5-7
This verse speaks to me in a strange way. She, the bride of the king, the wisest king, was used and abused by her family, and scorned by her neighbors. Yet still he loved her, above all the others. It's inspiring to know that even humans can love like that, and I know above all else, my King loves me that way too. My scars, my "darkness", is still lovely to Him. My years of self torture and anguish, beautiful in His eyes, as my other attributes, all of which He gave me.
It goes on to ask why she should feel the need to hide her face among those who know Him. It should be like that in the church, the bride of Christ, for those with pasts to be able to hold their redeemed head up among other believers. Where does this judgment and exile-attitude come from?
There's more to learn in the Song of Solomon, even if it is notorious for being the most scandalous book in the Bible. Taylor made a point of it being a perfect example of the intimacy between Jesus and his Bride, the church.
~Char
ENG DP
In less than 24 hours, I will be all packed and ready to go! Where, you may ask? Why, to the sweet city-village of Decatur, Georgia for our Atlanta ATF event. I am quite thoroughly excited for this event, because my first 8 months as an intern were spent calling every youth pastor in the beautiful state of Georgia to invite them to the 08-09 Here Comes Trouble tour when it pulled through there in April. So you could say this is my baby event!
I will be going as a ENG DP, which translated, is a camera operator/producer, collecting b-roll (raw footage: crowd shots, bands, incoming teenagers, etc) and interviews of attendees throughout the weekend. This, I feel, is a very exciting job. I'm a bit of an extrovert myself, and my job this weekend allows me the privilege of talking to dozens and dozens of people, as "work related conversation". It also allows me to go places like right in front of the stage, backstage, and basically anywhere, in order to get the footage we need for the event highlights (a quick 2-3 minute video of the biggest things that happened for that specific event, shown back on campus during chapel for the rest of the interns).
I think my favorite thing about this weekend is that it's a Red event. What's that? During the spring semester of our tour, we hit two towns every weekend, double teaming it. The team that's been doing it since August is called the Blue team, and Atlanta will be the birthing event for the Red team, which formed in January, and has been practicing and practicing and practicing and... well, you get the point! This is their first event, and I'm very excited to see how it will turn out. Alot of my closest friends from my first year are on the team, so during break times and such I'll be able to spend some good ol' Quality Time with them! They'll be on the road for the next several months after that, so this is precious time for us.
For today though, aside from packing, I will be stretching and working out my ENG Producer muscles, which haven't had much action since last summer's GE and XC summer stretch. Should be interesting, because as creative as we are, CCMers don't give very good practice interviews! I suppose I shall just have to make up some funny questions to keep them on their toes. Oh, yes, one of the biggest things about doing ENG isn't necessarily good camera skills, though keeping the camera steady and focused IS important. I consider an engaged conversation to be far more important however. Many people like being in front of a camera, but you won't get good interviews to use if your interviewee feels like you're not listening, because you're just running through a list of pre-thought out questions that aren't personal. My thoughts are ask a rather broad but semi-focused question, like "Tell me something you've experienced at the event so far", or "What do you see God doing in your youth group at this event", which will get them talking for a little bit, and give you pieces of information about them or their youth group that you can glean further, more detailed questions from, which gives you an organized personal interview, and them feeling special for their short 15 minutes of fame. :)
Gotta fly!
~Char
I will be going as a ENG DP, which translated, is a camera operator/producer, collecting b-roll (raw footage: crowd shots, bands, incoming teenagers, etc) and interviews of attendees throughout the weekend. This, I feel, is a very exciting job. I'm a bit of an extrovert myself, and my job this weekend allows me the privilege of talking to dozens and dozens of people, as "work related conversation". It also allows me to go places like right in front of the stage, backstage, and basically anywhere, in order to get the footage we need for the event highlights (a quick 2-3 minute video of the biggest things that happened for that specific event, shown back on campus during chapel for the rest of the interns).
I think my favorite thing about this weekend is that it's a Red event. What's that? During the spring semester of our tour, we hit two towns every weekend, double teaming it. The team that's been doing it since August is called the Blue team, and Atlanta will be the birthing event for the Red team, which formed in January, and has been practicing and practicing and practicing and... well, you get the point! This is their first event, and I'm very excited to see how it will turn out. Alot of my closest friends from my first year are on the team, so during break times and such I'll be able to spend some good ol' Quality Time with them! They'll be on the road for the next several months after that, so this is precious time for us.
For today though, aside from packing, I will be stretching and working out my ENG Producer muscles, which haven't had much action since last summer's GE and XC summer stretch. Should be interesting, because as creative as we are, CCMers don't give very good practice interviews! I suppose I shall just have to make up some funny questions to keep them on their toes. Oh, yes, one of the biggest things about doing ENG isn't necessarily good camera skills, though keeping the camera steady and focused IS important. I consider an engaged conversation to be far more important however. Many people like being in front of a camera, but you won't get good interviews to use if your interviewee feels like you're not listening, because you're just running through a list of pre-thought out questions that aren't personal. My thoughts are ask a rather broad but semi-focused question, like "Tell me something you've experienced at the event so far", or "What do you see God doing in your youth group at this event", which will get them talking for a little bit, and give you pieces of information about them or their youth group that you can glean further, more detailed questions from, which gives you an organized personal interview, and them feeling special for their short 15 minutes of fame. :)
Gotta fly!
~Char
February 15th, 1969
Happy Birthday Dad. Today you are the wonderful and magical age of 42. Miss and love you,
~Maggie
~Maggie
Monday, February 14, 2011
To My Valentine
Ah, the day of Love. Or for some, the day of eternal torment and reminder of how "horrible" life is as a single person. I thumb my nose at that, but I will say I am one of the majority, in being single that is. So far, today has been quite lovely, even without a beau on my arm. I've gotten a beautiful (and orange!!!) rose from my dear brother core, been surprised with my favorite candy bar (butterfinger if you're wondering...) and all around had a very peaceful and joyful day. One of those accumulatively wonderful days. What is there possibly to be upset about???
I was doing a little research into the history of Valentine's day, and it's quite intriguing that this day of "love" has had such a BLOODY history. I'm sure many of us has heard of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre of Prohibition days, but the whole feast day STARTED with the shedding of blood. St. Valentine was a priest in the Roman empire, during the reign of Claudius. Claudius was looking to amass a large amry for conquest, but was infuriated to find that many young men refused to volunteer to join because they didn't want to leave their wives and familes. So Claudius's solution? Dissolve all existing marriages and cancel every engagement. This of course drove the public crazy, but there were some who secretly rebelled, all in the name of love. Valentine, along with a fellow priest, Marius, was one such "rebel with a cause". He secretly married dozens of young couples, until his arrest around the year 270 AD. Sentenced to death for his "treachery", Valentine spent the remainder of his life in a tower, with couples in love throwing encouraging notes and flowers through the bars of his cell window. The story goes that he brefriended a guards daughter, and the day of his death, sent her a letter signed, "from your Valentine". Supposedly this is how the tradition of sending gifts and cards began.
Granted, the day was originally a pagan holiday to celebrate Juno, goddess of women and marriage. But who says holidays can't change?
By far though, my favorite story of "rebellious love" is that of a son, one obedient even unto death, willing to die for the ones that he loved: us. The greatest love story of all time, that of the cross, still rings true today, for single, engaged, married, anyone. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world (as many like to believe), but to save the world through Him." - John 3:16-17
Much love to all, both friends, family, and others,
~Char
Thursday, February 10, 2011
And so it begins...
Tonight marks the official beginning of this weekend's LTE (Life Transforming Event). I'm very excited for what will come, but for now, dear reader, I must bid thee a good night and pray for sweet dreams. Pray that God may also find favor with me and allow me to draw near, for intimacy with Him above all else is what I seek. :)
~Char
~Char
Finding The Passion Again
Doug called a team meeting today, just a Q&A type session, to see if anyone wanted to throw some ideas around, or had any qualms that needed quelching. Somehow I managed to find myself assigned fully the task of music cue sheets once more, as well as a look(?) regarding my movie question. Hm...
Anyway, his second goal was to get people thinking about their craft, and the passion that backed it. A former staffer had apparently been doing some sort of 10 day challenge, and he wanted us to get involved in a similar challenge, CCM style. Basically, every day for 10 days, you come up with a new piece of art, with a specific subject of the day. I'm not sure how this is going to work, but I'm going to try it. He wants us to reignite the passion that pushes us forward, and gives us ambition and reason to flex our creative muscles, because doing that is what makes someone great. The passion...the ambition....
So what IS my passion? Why do I put in these long, tedious hours slaving away at the mill, labeling and relabeling dozens of tapes, logging hours of footage, and refining and growing my skills in other areas? The allure of the business, as unglamorous as it truly is, calls to me. The unique ability to be able to create from nothing whole new worlds, characters, circumstances, romances, epics, all of it. The energy involved in this endeavor is contagious. And then there are the people. Millions of people all around the world plop themselves down in front of their televisions and watch movies, television shows, and commercials till their brains rot. My sister just so happens to be one of them.
I see characters like Hannah Montana, or Sonny with a Chance, or any one of those teeny bopper shows, and I shudder. Thy are so obnoxious and rude and sarcastic and disobedient to their parents. And then there are the shows like "Secret Life of the American Teenager"... one stupid and idiotic decision after another. I mean, how many people can a girl sleep with before she gets knocked up or worse? How "mature" can a teenager really be with a baby? I know my own background speaks of a similar story, but really, broadcasting that on live air is like pumping mind numbing poison into the air all around us. I don't want my sister seeing all of that.
I want to bring God back to television. Like Doug said, when they came up with the megaphone, they were thrilled that people could hear the gospel all the way to the back of the tent. When the microphone was invented, hallelujah! A whole stadium full of people could be reached! And the radio... we could go anywhere with the gospel then! But when the television came out, it was condemned, called the "Satan box", and it's still being rejected by Christians today. Now, I understand if you feel there are better things you could be doing with your time, but rejecting a thing for the sake of it is no good excuse for non-action. What better tool than the one that spreads so prevelantly the lifestyle that is the exact opposite of the one we seek? It's like injecting the cure directly into the virus. Eats away at it from the inside out, until there's nothing left of it, piece by piece it disappears.
That's my passion, where my heart is. To bring God to the world, and even for those who aren't religious, to give them a better option of television. To show other little girls like Abbie that there's a way of living that doesn't alienate your parents and make you uber rebellious simply because you saw it on television. No one likes a brat, and certainly people who make horrible life decisions aren't as popular and living as well a life as they make out on the boob tube.
So every tape labeled. Every minute of footage logged and transcribed. Every back ache, head ache, bruise, sleepless night, missing items, reprimand, and blown tired. Every insult from those who don't understand. Every boycott and censorship. Every rejected application. All of it. It's all worth it in the end. It's all worth the effort, because at the end of the day, whether i see it or not, it's chipping away at a culture that has become increasingly numb, "young America raped on the sidewalk", and finally someone is paying attention and doing something about it.
~Char
Anyway, his second goal was to get people thinking about their craft, and the passion that backed it. A former staffer had apparently been doing some sort of 10 day challenge, and he wanted us to get involved in a similar challenge, CCM style. Basically, every day for 10 days, you come up with a new piece of art, with a specific subject of the day. I'm not sure how this is going to work, but I'm going to try it. He wants us to reignite the passion that pushes us forward, and gives us ambition and reason to flex our creative muscles, because doing that is what makes someone great. The passion...the ambition....
So what IS my passion? Why do I put in these long, tedious hours slaving away at the mill, labeling and relabeling dozens of tapes, logging hours of footage, and refining and growing my skills in other areas? The allure of the business, as unglamorous as it truly is, calls to me. The unique ability to be able to create from nothing whole new worlds, characters, circumstances, romances, epics, all of it. The energy involved in this endeavor is contagious. And then there are the people. Millions of people all around the world plop themselves down in front of their televisions and watch movies, television shows, and commercials till their brains rot. My sister just so happens to be one of them.
I see characters like Hannah Montana, or Sonny with a Chance, or any one of those teeny bopper shows, and I shudder. Thy are so obnoxious and rude and sarcastic and disobedient to their parents. And then there are the shows like "Secret Life of the American Teenager"... one stupid and idiotic decision after another. I mean, how many people can a girl sleep with before she gets knocked up or worse? How "mature" can a teenager really be with a baby? I know my own background speaks of a similar story, but really, broadcasting that on live air is like pumping mind numbing poison into the air all around us. I don't want my sister seeing all of that.
I want to bring God back to television. Like Doug said, when they came up with the megaphone, they were thrilled that people could hear the gospel all the way to the back of the tent. When the microphone was invented, hallelujah! A whole stadium full of people could be reached! And the radio... we could go anywhere with the gospel then! But when the television came out, it was condemned, called the "Satan box", and it's still being rejected by Christians today. Now, I understand if you feel there are better things you could be doing with your time, but rejecting a thing for the sake of it is no good excuse for non-action. What better tool than the one that spreads so prevelantly the lifestyle that is the exact opposite of the one we seek? It's like injecting the cure directly into the virus. Eats away at it from the inside out, until there's nothing left of it, piece by piece it disappears.
That's my passion, where my heart is. To bring God to the world, and even for those who aren't religious, to give them a better option of television. To show other little girls like Abbie that there's a way of living that doesn't alienate your parents and make you uber rebellious simply because you saw it on television. No one likes a brat, and certainly people who make horrible life decisions aren't as popular and living as well a life as they make out on the boob tube.
So every tape labeled. Every minute of footage logged and transcribed. Every back ache, head ache, bruise, sleepless night, missing items, reprimand, and blown tired. Every insult from those who don't understand. Every boycott and censorship. Every rejected application. All of it. It's all worth it in the end. It's all worth the effort, because at the end of the day, whether i see it or not, it's chipping away at a culture that has become increasingly numb, "young America raped on the sidewalk", and finally someone is paying attention and doing something about it.
~Char
It Takes All Kinds
In 2007, a CCN special covered extremists of both the Christian and Muslim religions. While I personally do not find fairness in the comparative of suicidal bombers and teenagers seeking to make their life and world better, I must concede that there are those who claim to follow Christ that leave a very bad taste in the mouths of not only those outside the church, but those within. I feel there are 3 types of "Christians": the Crusaders, the Lovers, and the Seat Warmers.
The Seat Warmers seem to be the most common, and often most frustrating. They come to church every Sunday, smiling and nodding through Pastor's sermon, give their tithes, and go to their Sunday lunches feeling generally well pleased with themselves. Unfortunately, that's about all they give of themselves. Their lives are their own, not truly belonging to Christ, and thus impotent to His kingdom. When it comes down to the hardwire, they choose the easy way out, and it doesn't affect their consciences any because they never really had conviction to back it up. They could be anyone: the high school football coach who knows every hymn by heart and every swear word on the foot ball field; the stay at home mom, who believes righteousness is found in good works like pies and hugs; the A+ student, who just sees God as another check mark on their life list of accomplishments. Or the store clerk, who knows nothing else but church on Sundays, and who has a hangover from his party last night.
The Crusaders are a little rarer, but more vocal. They are the ones who manage to get us on television, and not in an Oprah Winfrey kinda way. Think more like Ted Bundy. You know who I'm talking about, the ones who even their mothers deny knowing because they've just blown up an abortion clinic, or shot one of the doctors who works there, or mobbed a homosexual or transvestite walking home down the wrong alley at the wrong time. These people give God a bad name, and it's little wonder that when someone tries to stand up and say God's way is the right way, we're opposed and called intolerant bigots who murder people to "save lives", namely those of innocent children. My argument with them lies in the ironic belief that the "sanctity of life" applies only to those who cannot lift a hand to help themselves. Athiest and God-fearer alike cringes at the sound of a crusader on their soap box.
That really only leaves one other type of Christian. Jesus said, "If you love me, do as I do". I believe there are those who truly seek to love as Jesus did, to share His story with the world and show them life and freedom such as they've never known. The term "christian" was a Greek term used to describe Christ's followers, "little Jesus's", because their actions and love and miracles were so like Christ's that people who had never personally met this Yeshua of Nazareth would ask, "Is this He who they speak of?" This group of people is often hindered by those who are crusading for the god of their own creation, or who are drowning in apathy and don't even realize it.
What kind of Christian do you think you are? Is your life your own? Or have you made the ultimate sacrifice and given every piece of you to the service and love of the Creator? Think about it, because next time Dateline makes a special, it may be about you....
~Char
The Seat Warmers seem to be the most common, and often most frustrating. They come to church every Sunday, smiling and nodding through Pastor's sermon, give their tithes, and go to their Sunday lunches feeling generally well pleased with themselves. Unfortunately, that's about all they give of themselves. Their lives are their own, not truly belonging to Christ, and thus impotent to His kingdom. When it comes down to the hardwire, they choose the easy way out, and it doesn't affect their consciences any because they never really had conviction to back it up. They could be anyone: the high school football coach who knows every hymn by heart and every swear word on the foot ball field; the stay at home mom, who believes righteousness is found in good works like pies and hugs; the A+ student, who just sees God as another check mark on their life list of accomplishments. Or the store clerk, who knows nothing else but church on Sundays, and who has a hangover from his party last night.
The Crusaders are a little rarer, but more vocal. They are the ones who manage to get us on television, and not in an Oprah Winfrey kinda way. Think more like Ted Bundy. You know who I'm talking about, the ones who even their mothers deny knowing because they've just blown up an abortion clinic, or shot one of the doctors who works there, or mobbed a homosexual or transvestite walking home down the wrong alley at the wrong time. These people give God a bad name, and it's little wonder that when someone tries to stand up and say God's way is the right way, we're opposed and called intolerant bigots who murder people to "save lives", namely those of innocent children. My argument with them lies in the ironic belief that the "sanctity of life" applies only to those who cannot lift a hand to help themselves. Athiest and God-fearer alike cringes at the sound of a crusader on their soap box.
That really only leaves one other type of Christian. Jesus said, "If you love me, do as I do". I believe there are those who truly seek to love as Jesus did, to share His story with the world and show them life and freedom such as they've never known. The term "christian" was a Greek term used to describe Christ's followers, "little Jesus's", because their actions and love and miracles were so like Christ's that people who had never personally met this Yeshua of Nazareth would ask, "Is this He who they speak of?" This group of people is often hindered by those who are crusading for the god of their own creation, or who are drowning in apathy and don't even realize it.
What kind of Christian do you think you are? Is your life your own? Or have you made the ultimate sacrifice and given every piece of you to the service and love of the Creator? Think about it, because next time Dateline makes a special, it may be about you....
~Char
God Does Not Hide Himself
Every night, on my long lonely walk from work back to the dorms, I pause on the top of the hill and take a moment to look at the stars. They are so beautiful, and awe inspiring. Cultures all over time and space have been fascinated by the stars since the very beginning, and every person has spent even a single moment looking up at the stars in wonder. And why should we? Each twinkle is like a beckoning friend, evoking curiosity and wonder in our hearts. For some this leads to a calling for the galaxies and beyond; for others, it's a cause to celebrate, for as it says in Psalm 19:
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world. "
How amazing is that? The stars are so bright and beautiful as it is, but they were MADE to point us towards the everlasting Light that will never burn out or explode into nothingness. Not only that, but "He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. " (Psalm 147:4) How awesome is that? He told Abraham to count the stars in the heavens, or the sands on the shore, and Abraham couldn't, but God could. And He does!
Not only does He count the stars, and name each one, but he also records every tear we cry (Psalm 56:8). Each detail is important to God, from the hugest supernova to the smallest salty tear cried by the loneliest heart. It's like a massive inventory list of the heavens and the earth.
With every inventory checklist we do, we come to realize where everything is, in it's place, and we place a value on it. Does not God do the same thing with us? He knew us before our own mothers did, in her womb (Psalm 139:13, Psalm 51:6), and lists our very tears, knows our every breathe. He doesn't even SLEEP for thinking of us (Psalm 121:3-4). IN the book of Matthew, even, we find out just how much more precious we are to Him than the beautiful flowers or the song sparrow (6:26-30).
With how important we are to God, don't you think He'd want us to know Him? To love Him back? He doesn't need our love, but He created us to LOVE us. It is our purpose in life, above all else, to love him in return. The heavens declare the glory of God, His, love for us that is never ending. How much brighter do they seem to us now, now that each glow is a reminder of the Light of Life that burns in our hearts for us each day.
~Char
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world. "
How amazing is that? The stars are so bright and beautiful as it is, but they were MADE to point us towards the everlasting Light that will never burn out or explode into nothingness. Not only that, but "He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. " (Psalm 147:4) How awesome is that? He told Abraham to count the stars in the heavens, or the sands on the shore, and Abraham couldn't, but God could. And He does!
Not only does He count the stars, and name each one, but he also records every tear we cry (Psalm 56:8). Each detail is important to God, from the hugest supernova to the smallest salty tear cried by the loneliest heart. It's like a massive inventory list of the heavens and the earth.
With every inventory checklist we do, we come to realize where everything is, in it's place, and we place a value on it. Does not God do the same thing with us? He knew us before our own mothers did, in her womb (Psalm 139:13, Psalm 51:6), and lists our very tears, knows our every breathe. He doesn't even SLEEP for thinking of us (Psalm 121:3-4). IN the book of Matthew, even, we find out just how much more precious we are to Him than the beautiful flowers or the song sparrow (6:26-30).
With how important we are to God, don't you think He'd want us to know Him? To love Him back? He doesn't need our love, but He created us to LOVE us. It is our purpose in life, above all else, to love him in return. The heavens declare the glory of God, His, love for us that is never ending. How much brighter do they seem to us now, now that each glow is a reminder of the Light of Life that burns in our hearts for us each day.
~Char
What a to-do to die to day at a minute or two till two...
So as of right now, I don’t really have a specific title other than “production intern”, which is a title shared with basically everyone in my program. I’m aiming for DP (Director of Photography), and Lead Makeup Artist, but for now, I’m a bit more of a jack of all trades.
Last summer I was Producer/DP for several sets of ENG (Electronic News Gathering) we did for our Xtreme Camps and Global Expeditions events. This included camera work in the field, leading interviews, and doing a bit of snooping around for possible events to record, like the big GE lunch dance (was a lot cooler than it sounds). This also included labeling and storing tapes in our library, and logging most of the footage.
Another project I was an integral part of was the ATF TV Music Cue Sheet team. Basically, with every ATF TV episode we send in to God TV or some other broadcasting network, we must also send what is called a music cue sheet. This protects us from copyright infringement and also allows for the bands shown in each episode to receive their due royalties. Keeps everyone happy, but I must say, after the 3rd or 4th Unhindered Special, you begin to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t do their own promotions, while humming along to “We Are The Redeemed”.
I’m also currently working alongside a few of our official DPs here in the studio, learning camera techniques and lighting, including studio lighting, green screen lighting, and outdoor lighting, for scenes that are less than ideal. Being in my second year here, I can tell you what 3-point lighting is (not a 3-point turn tho), how many watts you can plug into each wall (this IS important if you don’t want to fry the circuits), and what not to do with tapes and cell phones, among other things. Needless to say, there’s a lot more to camera work than simply picking it up and pushing the big red button. I mean, who knew how handy C47’s would be? ;)
One of my favorite things so far to do though is makeup. Ashton and I have been doing a lot of experimenting in that department, from supermodel super dramatic makeup, to making old people out 16 year olds, and even zombies (LOVE zombies!). We’re currently setting our sights on making a mini-series of makeup tutorials for future interns, and maybe even youtube. This includes basics, like the different uses for each brush, the great debate of cream versus powder, and so much more, but also more complicated endeavors, like LIQUID LATEX!
For now, that’s what I do almost every day. More to follow as we go to our live events, or on the road with our Professional Encounters.
See you in the end credits
~Char
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Moment Of Truth
Sitting here, alone, up on this ancient couch, I'm feeling rather lonely, yet.... not? I don't know if that makes sense, but some nights, it's hard being around people. Hard dealing with the overexaggerated excitement and drama.
Ha, does that whole first paragraph make me a loner, or do others feel that way sometimes? So overcome by the tidal wave of emotions that go on around them, they feel the need to escape, even if into their own minds, using their headphones to keep the world at bay?I feel a tad like maybe Edgar Alan Poe and Regina Spektor all rolled up into one, with a tiny twinge of James Rollins. I'm sure Tyler Whetstone would have something to say about that combination :P
Anyway, perhaps it would be best, for you, dear reader, if I stopped typing. I'm sure my brain has become addlepated enough right now that this really IS just a bunch of nonsense that won't make much sense even to me in the morning....
~Char
Ha, does that whole first paragraph make me a loner, or do others feel that way sometimes? So overcome by the tidal wave of emotions that go on around them, they feel the need to escape, even if into their own minds, using their headphones to keep the world at bay?I feel a tad like maybe Edgar Alan Poe and Regina Spektor all rolled up into one, with a tiny twinge of James Rollins. I'm sure Tyler Whetstone would have something to say about that combination :P
Anyway, perhaps it would be best, for you, dear reader, if I stopped typing. I'm sure my brain has become addlepated enough right now that this really IS just a bunch of nonsense that won't make much sense even to me in the morning....
~Char
Realizing Reality (Making One Up As I Go...)
Sometimes I think in terms of music. Not so much the musical notes, but with the fluidity and motion of the piece itself. My mind creates images and almost an entire world from a beat, the melody's peaks and ebbing drawing a new reality of characters and movement. Maybe that sounds crazy, but the world comes alive and more dramatic with a tune. For example, right now, I'm listening to "In Motion", a song on the Social Network soundtrack. Has a kind of techno feel to it, but there's a little more to it, and right now, the beat is building. What's my mind's eye see? It started with a thick club scene, like a scene from the second matrix, very primal. At 2:40(ish), the beat suddenly drops, almost silence, and again, a new image: that of someone standing there in complete stillness, finger extended toward a single raindrop suspended in time and space. And then the beat picks up and the droplet bursts on the ground, and suddenly it's a great rain storm: thousands upon thousands of droplets creating an evergrowing funnel of energy around the person who was first in the club. And then it all digitally dissolves, like a scene from Scott Pilgrim or something. It's crazy what the mind can come up with.
This late at night, when I'm trying to write, I find that listening to a show is a BAD idea. SO I pump up the beats. Depends on how my day went, usually, but I most often like listening to something wordless, something that gives my mind a little more freedom and room for creative license. One of my favorite people in the world was helping me overcome writer's block with some prompts, and so far, these two methods seem to be the most helpful when I'm stuck in a writing funk. Or heck, even just a creative funk, or a funk of any sort. :)
As of right now, my reality is in the world of music (even if this makes me sound like druggie, I don't care). Trying to enjoy the solitude and ease of escape into this said reality, away from the pain, and overcoming the melancholy of today. So far, it's a very lovely world indeed. Time to turn up the tempo...
~Char In Motion
This late at night, when I'm trying to write, I find that listening to a show is a BAD idea. SO I pump up the beats. Depends on how my day went, usually, but I most often like listening to something wordless, something that gives my mind a little more freedom and room for creative license. One of my favorite people in the world was helping me overcome writer's block with some prompts, and so far, these two methods seem to be the most helpful when I'm stuck in a writing funk. Or heck, even just a creative funk, or a funk of any sort. :)
As of right now, my reality is in the world of music (even if this makes me sound like druggie, I don't care). Trying to enjoy the solitude and ease of escape into this said reality, away from the pain, and overcoming the melancholy of today. So far, it's a very lovely world indeed. Time to turn up the tempo...
~Char In Motion
Friday, February 4, 2011
Show Me
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places,
Looking for hope in any one of these faces,
Trying to find myself where I was not
Seeking to find everything that I'd lost.
I'm worthless, toxic, lowlier than the rest,
Trying to give it all, but my worst is my best
And now I stand here on the edge
Leaning farther at the razor's edge
Trying to find a way out
Show me the love I once knew
Show me the power of the cross
That drew me to your heart
Show me the word of truth
And help me find the love that I lost
Hiding in the corner of my heart
Is a lost and lonely girl, tearing herself apart.
She cries a lonely night, her tears falling by
Never knowing what the dawn will bring.
A dark and fearful shadow falls upon her form
As the nightmare deepens in her faded, broken heart.
And as she lays there in the ashes,
Broken and bleeding,
She finds her escape again in the dark
Show me the love I once knew
Show me the power of the cross
That drew me to your heart
Show me the word of truth
And help me find the love that I lost
Is there anyone who hears me?
Is there anyone who cares
That this lost and lonely child is falling in despair?
Is there a hand that she can hold to
Or a face that she can run to
When the nightmare fills her night
And the day light runs away?
Show me the love I once knew (show me the love)
Show me the power of the cross
that drew me to your heart (to your heart)
Show me the word of truth
And help me find the love I lost
Show me
Heal me
Break me open again
Show me
Move me
Show me your face again...
Makers and Breakers
Give me the laws of society, straight forward and true. Give me a guideline of do's and dont's and maybe then I'll understand. I'm so tired of people dancing around me on eggshells, pretending to be one thing, merely hiding behind a mask of deciept and dishonesty, and truly being another. For once, I would like gut and brutal honesty, true emotions, and loyalty. This... this...netherworld is breaking my real reality, and distorting it. I'm just ready for someone to step up and be real.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A Confident Lady
I've heard said that confidence becomes a young lady, that is desirable and often very beneficial in a relationship, in any sort of relationship. Confidence is also a sign of character and quality of life.
Needless to say, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, which has given a serious beating to my ego, in good and bad ways. Confidence hasn't always been on my top list of priorities insofar as I cared to show the rest of the world. But recently, I have rediscovered a piece of my dignity, and self respect, which has been key to surviving the reintegration into the Honor Academy.
Judgment seems to somehow be born of religion, both judicially and personally. Without moral laws, there can be no judgments, and yet somehow I'm not sure it's a good thing when no one teaches people the difference between the two types of judging. Here at school, I can't help but notice that lack of wisdom as I feel the stares and hear the whispers as I move around campus. I've been judged, and found wanting to many.
But walking across the grassy knoll today on my way to work, I realized something. Despite what the others may think, despite what the others may say or do, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Confidence is not only an outflow of character, I believe it's also an intake of strength. I choose to ignore the judgments and the ridicule, and thus their power is lost to me. I choose instead to find joy in the day, in the now falling beautiful snow. Therein lies my confidence, and thus, healing. If I keep stepping out in that, then there's going to come a day when that intake dwindles as the outflow grows, because I'll have found a source in myself (rooted in God) to support the flow independently, if that makes sense.
Haha, so today, I say this in all confidence, I like myself. ALOT. So... go check out my other blog. Which isn't so much a day to day blog as it is a map to the intricacies of my brain, an adventure that delves into the mind of an ever growing young lady discovering who she was, who she is, and who she's destined to be.
~Char
http://foreverchar.blogspot.com
Needless to say, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, which has given a serious beating to my ego, in good and bad ways. Confidence hasn't always been on my top list of priorities insofar as I cared to show the rest of the world. But recently, I have rediscovered a piece of my dignity, and self respect, which has been key to surviving the reintegration into the Honor Academy.
Judgment seems to somehow be born of religion, both judicially and personally. Without moral laws, there can be no judgments, and yet somehow I'm not sure it's a good thing when no one teaches people the difference between the two types of judging. Here at school, I can't help but notice that lack of wisdom as I feel the stares and hear the whispers as I move around campus. I've been judged, and found wanting to many.
But walking across the grassy knoll today on my way to work, I realized something. Despite what the others may think, despite what the others may say or do, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Confidence is not only an outflow of character, I believe it's also an intake of strength. I choose to ignore the judgments and the ridicule, and thus their power is lost to me. I choose instead to find joy in the day, in the now falling beautiful snow. Therein lies my confidence, and thus, healing. If I keep stepping out in that, then there's going to come a day when that intake dwindles as the outflow grows, because I'll have found a source in myself (rooted in God) to support the flow independently, if that makes sense.
Haha, so today, I say this in all confidence, I like myself. ALOT. So... go check out my other blog. Which isn't so much a day to day blog as it is a map to the intricacies of my brain, an adventure that delves into the mind of an ever growing young lady discovering who she was, who she is, and who she's destined to be.
~Char
http://foreverchar.blogspot.com
Monday, January 31, 2011
When True Love Doesn't Wait...
Sitting here, listening to the other interns, I'm realizing just how badly people look down on dismissal for romantic relationships. I don't even know if they realize I'm here, but one actually went so far as to make the comment that that's the WORST thing you can do to get dismissed. I mean, honestly? They don't get it...
I feel for the others like me who have been dismissed for this particular reason. People may see it as purposeful rebellion, but a lot of times, it starts out small, as a friendship, that grows, which means it could happen to any of them really. I find it interesting that they think they're immune to stupid decisions in the face of raw emotions.
Of all the things you could get dismissed for, I'm thinking this is the LEAST worse of them all. You can get dismissed for substance abuse, for a bad attitude, for stealing. Almost all the other ways to get dismissed involve mal-intent towards another human being, or towards yourself. Not so with romantic relationships, though I will be the first to admit that just because it lacks malicious intent doesn't make it right. Not at all.
I'd rather be in trouble for loving and being an idiot, then for being an idiot by hurting someone else. That's just psychotic...
I feel for the others like me who have been dismissed for this particular reason. People may see it as purposeful rebellion, but a lot of times, it starts out small, as a friendship, that grows, which means it could happen to any of them really. I find it interesting that they think they're immune to stupid decisions in the face of raw emotions.
Of all the things you could get dismissed for, I'm thinking this is the LEAST worse of them all. You can get dismissed for substance abuse, for a bad attitude, for stealing. Almost all the other ways to get dismissed involve mal-intent towards another human being, or towards yourself. Not so with romantic relationships, though I will be the first to admit that just because it lacks malicious intent doesn't make it right. Not at all.
I'd rather be in trouble for loving and being an idiot, then for being an idiot by hurting someone else. That's just psychotic...
A Day In The Life: Desk Edition
Every living entity -biological, institutional, or conspiratorial- has a brain, an organ or hub of thought and planning. For the Center For Creative Media (CCM), that brain is known simply as The Desk.
Comprised of staff and interns alike, the function of the Desk is to coordinate and supervise everything that goes on within and without CCM. This includes inside coordination of daily tasks, shoots, transportation, inventory, and anything to do with credits for schooling. They also serve as an inbetween for outside requests made to our Library for different projects and linecuts on DVD or other media forms (ie, Beta 30, miniDVs, CDs, etc).
Now, though they be all powerful and all knowing (at least in CCM's world), the Desk is not all that well liked. Orders are sent out, and grumblings are heard, as each order is mandatory. "Transcribing" is equivalent to a swear word, and the daily assignment email is loathe to any and all who receive it, in part due to the afore mentioned dirty word.
And this private little clique was where I found myself today. A symposium on Islam was being held this weekend, and having attended it before, I became one of the few graduate interns not attending. I thought it was my lucky day, but I suppose the Cherokee in me won out over the Irish, for I found myself delivering linecuts up the Hill and doling out orders to the poor interns unlucky enough to be within 100 yards of the Desk. Needless to say, I'm not very good with giving orders or confronting people. I'm a people person.
Oh, and for those of you who don't know half of what I'm saying... linecuts are the final unedited copies of any given event that we put on. This week's was the Richmond event's linecuts.
I eagerly await what this afternoon holds for me, though with much trepidation. Wish me luck, for I wish not to entangle myself in the web of woeful tidings that inevitably ensue from....
THE DESK.
~Char
PS. I love the people on the desk, just not their job...
Comprised of staff and interns alike, the function of the Desk is to coordinate and supervise everything that goes on within and without CCM. This includes inside coordination of daily tasks, shoots, transportation, inventory, and anything to do with credits for schooling. They also serve as an inbetween for outside requests made to our Library for different projects and linecuts on DVD or other media forms (ie, Beta 30, miniDVs, CDs, etc).
Now, though they be all powerful and all knowing (at least in CCM's world), the Desk is not all that well liked. Orders are sent out, and grumblings are heard, as each order is mandatory. "Transcribing" is equivalent to a swear word, and the daily assignment email is loathe to any and all who receive it, in part due to the afore mentioned dirty word.
And this private little clique was where I found myself today. A symposium on Islam was being held this weekend, and having attended it before, I became one of the few graduate interns not attending. I thought it was my lucky day, but I suppose the Cherokee in me won out over the Irish, for I found myself delivering linecuts up the Hill and doling out orders to the poor interns unlucky enough to be within 100 yards of the Desk. Needless to say, I'm not very good with giving orders or confronting people. I'm a people person.
Oh, and for those of you who don't know half of what I'm saying... linecuts are the final unedited copies of any given event that we put on. This week's was the Richmond event's linecuts.
I eagerly await what this afternoon holds for me, though with much trepidation. Wish me luck, for I wish not to entangle myself in the web of woeful tidings that inevitably ensue from....
THE DESK.
~Char
PS. I love the people on the desk, just not their job...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Everyone's Favs: Vampire Bride
Photos by: Charlie Kemp, Williwaw Photography
Makeup: Charlie Kemp & Ashton Davis
Talent: Sarah Richey
Friday, January 28, 2011
A Very Happy Birthday Indeed!
Turning 22 is rather odd. It's not a milestone age (I don't think...), and it's not exactly a big number, or a low number or anything. But, man... I still feel OLD!!!
This day has been absolutely amazing!!! I'm serious! I woke up in a fantabulous mood (yes, that's a word), and the day just kept getting better and better. I DROVE to work, which I have decided is my new favorite thing to do. Driving and singing to worship music at full volume... nothing better! So anyway, I get to work, and I've been begging to do personal development projects since my first day back, and guess what? I got approved! That made me very happy indeed :D
Ashton and Marissa had an acting project they were working on, and asked me to be the DP for their little performance, and of course I quite happily agreed. Things didn't go quite as planned however, and that all got rescheduled to Monday, but even that is a good thing, because it means I am already promised another day of PD. :D So I ordered a pizza for myself, and made some reese's brownies as a little birthday cake sort of thing. After my yummy meal, I was called in to be a test dummy with Ashton and Diamond, who were practicing makeup techniques.
Funny story, cuz they are both black, so the makeup they were putting on me and Erin, the other test dummy, was coloring made for dark skinned people. Erin is hispanic, so she obviously fit the profile, but my translucent shade of skin didn't exactly go with their color pallette, so needless to say when they had "finished" with me, I got cleaned up and sat them down for a fun tutorial on "white chick makeup 101". We had a blast, because we got to use one of our guys, Elijah, as our third test dummy. His makeup turned out quite well, and amid much laughter, I was able to show them shading and specific techniques for applying makeup. It was awesome.
The makeup escapade kinda snowballed from there, as Sarah wanted to be done up a little more. So somehow or other we decided we'd make her a vampire, and that turned into some creature all it's own! Ashton and I dug around the attic for a dress and accessories, and dolled Sarah up with hair and everything, and then thought, well, let's do a shoot! We called some of the guys up to haul out the coffin (yes, CCM has a coffin in the attic) to the front drive, and grabbed a few antique candlesticks and roses, and headed out. Turned out pretty cool actually, if you don't mind the now stained red hands from the fake blood we used. Haha, Doug seemed to like it though, which was great!
I had just gotten in to dump the pics onto my laptop when Linda came running in and grabbed me by the arm, telling me I "had no choice" but to come with her. So I did. Brian and Travis were waiting in the car, and we took off for an "unknown location for Round 1", which turned out to be Posado's. Unfortunately, Posado's was really busy, as it was Friday night, so we puttered over to Chili's, which too was busy. That really only left us the chinese place by walmart, which, oddly enough, happens to be my favorite Texas restaraunt! If that's not God, idk what is!
We had an awesome meal, and got a chance to catch up pretty well. All 3 of them are on the ministry team, so they've been uber busy, and I obviously had been gone for the last 4 months. It was so wonderful reminiscing and reconnecting again. I missed them so much... Anyway, after that we were kinda lost for what to do, but Linda had another "surprise" up her sleeve, and made Travis pull in near DQ. We munched on some star shaped popsicles on the long drive into Tyler, where we grabbed some starbucks for Travis. Little known fact among us: none of us like coffee!!! lol
We decided a movie was in order after that, and of all the movies there, the Green Hornet looked to be the funniest, but lemme say this: LAME!!! lol it was soooo dumb. Not worth the money to be sure, but it WAS pretty awesome watching it with those 3, because of all the funny comments. Hehehe, I will never look at a super hero movie the same way again....
The night ended on a lovely note, with us counting down to midnight, the end of the first day of my 22nd year of life. And now I sit here, writing this all out, and smiling, because this truly has been the best day of my life. I will never forget it, and I hope that there are many more days like this to come. It wasn't about the big things, really, it was the fullness and joy of it all, of not only feeling happy and loved, but accomplished and capable. I found a new piece of me today, and a little bit more of my dignity, and honestly, I think THAT has to be the greatest present of all. Haha, with a close second by the monkey from Linda (Thank you Linda!)
Love always, and now 22,
~Char
This day has been absolutely amazing!!! I'm serious! I woke up in a fantabulous mood (yes, that's a word), and the day just kept getting better and better. I DROVE to work, which I have decided is my new favorite thing to do. Driving and singing to worship music at full volume... nothing better! So anyway, I get to work, and I've been begging to do personal development projects since my first day back, and guess what? I got approved! That made me very happy indeed :D
Ashton and Marissa had an acting project they were working on, and asked me to be the DP for their little performance, and of course I quite happily agreed. Things didn't go quite as planned however, and that all got rescheduled to Monday, but even that is a good thing, because it means I am already promised another day of PD. :D So I ordered a pizza for myself, and made some reese's brownies as a little birthday cake sort of thing. After my yummy meal, I was called in to be a test dummy with Ashton and Diamond, who were practicing makeup techniques.
Funny story, cuz they are both black, so the makeup they were putting on me and Erin, the other test dummy, was coloring made for dark skinned people. Erin is hispanic, so she obviously fit the profile, but my translucent shade of skin didn't exactly go with their color pallette, so needless to say when they had "finished" with me, I got cleaned up and sat them down for a fun tutorial on "white chick makeup 101". We had a blast, because we got to use one of our guys, Elijah, as our third test dummy. His makeup turned out quite well, and amid much laughter, I was able to show them shading and specific techniques for applying makeup. It was awesome.
The makeup escapade kinda snowballed from there, as Sarah wanted to be done up a little more. So somehow or other we decided we'd make her a vampire, and that turned into some creature all it's own! Ashton and I dug around the attic for a dress and accessories, and dolled Sarah up with hair and everything, and then thought, well, let's do a shoot! We called some of the guys up to haul out the coffin (yes, CCM has a coffin in the attic) to the front drive, and grabbed a few antique candlesticks and roses, and headed out. Turned out pretty cool actually, if you don't mind the now stained red hands from the fake blood we used. Haha, Doug seemed to like it though, which was great!
I had just gotten in to dump the pics onto my laptop when Linda came running in and grabbed me by the arm, telling me I "had no choice" but to come with her. So I did. Brian and Travis were waiting in the car, and we took off for an "unknown location for Round 1", which turned out to be Posado's. Unfortunately, Posado's was really busy, as it was Friday night, so we puttered over to Chili's, which too was busy. That really only left us the chinese place by walmart, which, oddly enough, happens to be my favorite Texas restaraunt! If that's not God, idk what is!
We had an awesome meal, and got a chance to catch up pretty well. All 3 of them are on the ministry team, so they've been uber busy, and I obviously had been gone for the last 4 months. It was so wonderful reminiscing and reconnecting again. I missed them so much... Anyway, after that we were kinda lost for what to do, but Linda had another "surprise" up her sleeve, and made Travis pull in near DQ. We munched on some star shaped popsicles on the long drive into Tyler, where we grabbed some starbucks for Travis. Little known fact among us: none of us like coffee!!! lol
We decided a movie was in order after that, and of all the movies there, the Green Hornet looked to be the funniest, but lemme say this: LAME!!! lol it was soooo dumb. Not worth the money to be sure, but it WAS pretty awesome watching it with those 3, because of all the funny comments. Hehehe, I will never look at a super hero movie the same way again....
The night ended on a lovely note, with us counting down to midnight, the end of the first day of my 22nd year of life. And now I sit here, writing this all out, and smiling, because this truly has been the best day of my life. I will never forget it, and I hope that there are many more days like this to come. It wasn't about the big things, really, it was the fullness and joy of it all, of not only feeling happy and loved, but accomplished and capable. I found a new piece of me today, and a little bit more of my dignity, and honestly, I think THAT has to be the greatest present of all. Haha, with a close second by the monkey from Linda (Thank you Linda!)
Love always, and now 22,
~Char
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
GOAL!!!!
Looking over last year, and seeing how much of a FAIL that was, I think it would be a smart move to set some goals for myself, for my time here, so I'm not wasting any more time.
On that note, I should probably categorize some of them, seeing as how I want goals for all aspects of my life here, like physical health, work, spiritual growth, etc.
Ok, in the area of physical health, I'm not doing so well. I give myself a D- for this... I'm lazy, out of shape, and not too healthy. So goals for this year? Training, running, eating right, and getting better sleep habits. Also, if the body is a reflection of the mind, then I'd like to make more of an effort to make them match. I have a sharp mind, and not so much a sharp image at this point. I think I'll take some time to learn how to do my hair in different ways, and try some new makeup techniques as well. Grow my nails out while I'm at it. Hm, and maybe some sort of treatment for my skin.
Work. Whew boy... I'll save that for last.....I give myself an F for last year......
Spiritual growth has kind of gone south in recent months... I need to get into the habit of having a quiet time every day, and really digging into the Word. I was reading Romans today, and was inspired by it, but I haven't read it in soooooo long, and there's something wrong with that. I also want to memorize some stuff, like James 1 again, and Romans, and someone last night mentioned 1 Corinthians 7? Let's see how much I can get in my brain before it fries.
Ok, work. :/ this one may be a tad more difficult, because I don't have full control over it, but I have to at least try. I'd like to get more camera jobs, and I'm already guaranteed at least 3, but those are ENG for events, and I want something I can take into a studio, not just man-on-the-street stuff. I want to work on lighting techniques and such at LEAST once a week, if not more. I also want to try to aim for about 5 hours of footage every week, of my own or for projects. I'd like to learn a little bit more about editing, and a little more in the way of gfx, as well as makeup.
Oh, there's also my girls. I want/need to get to know them better and get close to some of them. SO far me and Naeema and Ashton have hit it off, and Stewart and Marissa, and a couple of the other girls, but I want to get to know them all. Maybe I should set up meetings with them? Or spontaneity? Hm.. I'll figure out the best approach, but I should probably jump on that band wagon sooner rather than later.
Recap: Goals in the areas of spiritual growth, work, relationships, and physical health.
Spiritual Growth:
Daily quiet time
Memorize a chapter of the Bible
Maybe learn how to play a worship song?
Work:
5 hrs /week of footage
at least one day in the studio (lighting/camera)
practice makeup techniques/explore
spend 4 hrs/week on gfx
spend 2 hrs/week on editing
explore the life of a professional each week (director, producer, DP, etc)
VOLUNTEER
Collect personal footage at each event and PE
Relationships:
Proactively seek out the girls
Avoid the guys
Meetings?
Encouragement
Physical health:
Weights and ball every day
Running (sprints) every other day
Jogging (long distance) every other day
Eat at least one fruit or vegetable daily
EAT BREAKFAST
Go to bed by 10 if possible
Try a new hair look each week
try a new makeup look every other day?
Accessorize
On that note, I should probably categorize some of them, seeing as how I want goals for all aspects of my life here, like physical health, work, spiritual growth, etc.
Ok, in the area of physical health, I'm not doing so well. I give myself a D- for this... I'm lazy, out of shape, and not too healthy. So goals for this year? Training, running, eating right, and getting better sleep habits. Also, if the body is a reflection of the mind, then I'd like to make more of an effort to make them match. I have a sharp mind, and not so much a sharp image at this point. I think I'll take some time to learn how to do my hair in different ways, and try some new makeup techniques as well. Grow my nails out while I'm at it. Hm, and maybe some sort of treatment for my skin.
Work. Whew boy... I'll save that for last.....I give myself an F for last year......
Spiritual growth has kind of gone south in recent months... I need to get into the habit of having a quiet time every day, and really digging into the Word. I was reading Romans today, and was inspired by it, but I haven't read it in soooooo long, and there's something wrong with that. I also want to memorize some stuff, like James 1 again, and Romans, and someone last night mentioned 1 Corinthians 7? Let's see how much I can get in my brain before it fries.
Ok, work. :/ this one may be a tad more difficult, because I don't have full control over it, but I have to at least try. I'd like to get more camera jobs, and I'm already guaranteed at least 3, but those are ENG for events, and I want something I can take into a studio, not just man-on-the-street stuff. I want to work on lighting techniques and such at LEAST once a week, if not more. I also want to try to aim for about 5 hours of footage every week, of my own or for projects. I'd like to learn a little bit more about editing, and a little more in the way of gfx, as well as makeup.
Oh, there's also my girls. I want/need to get to know them better and get close to some of them. SO far me and Naeema and Ashton have hit it off, and Stewart and Marissa, and a couple of the other girls, but I want to get to know them all. Maybe I should set up meetings with them? Or spontaneity? Hm.. I'll figure out the best approach, but I should probably jump on that band wagon sooner rather than later.
Recap: Goals in the areas of spiritual growth, work, relationships, and physical health.
Spiritual Growth:
Daily quiet time
Memorize a chapter of the Bible
Maybe learn how to play a worship song?
Work:
5 hrs /week of footage
at least one day in the studio (lighting/camera)
practice makeup techniques/explore
spend 4 hrs/week on gfx
spend 2 hrs/week on editing
explore the life of a professional each week (director, producer, DP, etc)
VOLUNTEER
Collect personal footage at each event and PE
Relationships:
Proactively seek out the girls
Avoid the guys
Meetings?
Encouragement
Physical health:
Weights and ball every day
Running (sprints) every other day
Jogging (long distance) every other day
Eat at least one fruit or vegetable daily
EAT BREAKFAST
Go to bed by 10 if possible
Try a new hair look each week
try a new makeup look every other day?
Accessorize
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